Paradox

The more interesting stuff I have to actually write about, the less time I have to actually write about it.

My First Topless Photo

I have been hesistant to post a topless photo. I had a good day today and thought "why the Hell not!" Harley took these pictures a long time ago; before enhancements and before I went blonde. I hope that does not matter to anyone. :)

So, here I am standing in just my bra and panties. And . . .

. . . here I am in just my panties. You will see the bra draped over the chair. Sorry guys. Maybe someday. :)

Don't hate me.

Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video

A friend told me about this video and I am still laughing. I do not think I am the only one who finds it as funny as all get out, but maybe I am weird. I will hope everyone enjoys it as much as I did. Also it probably tells you how bizarre my sense of humor can be.

21 Questions . . . I Finally Get To Them!

I wanted to do something different this morning. I read these question on D. Scandal, have since seen them on other sites, and wanted to give it go when I had some time. I have some time. :)

1. Have you ever fantasized about someone of the same sex?

Not sure why this is embarrassing to admit; yes, I have wondered. Never a particular person in mind, just in general.

2. How do you feel about condoms?

To paraphrase someone else - a "necessary" evil. Necessary was their word, evil is mine. Sex is meant to be messy.

3. How important is sex to you on a scale of 1 to 100?

Hello . . . I am writing a sex blog . . . 100 plus.

4. How often do you masturbate?

Depends. At most, once or twice a week.

5. When you fake an orgasm could you win an Oscar?

I will admit it, I have faked on a few occasions. I think "faked" might be an overly harsh word though. Why does it sound so bad to be concerned about how your Lover is feeling? I can be hard to "O". But if I have a Lover who is especially sensitive or I think their concern about my pleasure is getting in their/our, then I have upon occasion put a little extra emphasis into expressing the pleasure I am feeling. If they take that to mean that I am having an orgasm, well, its not entirely my fault they misunderstood and I saw no reason to explain. :) I hope that makes me sound less bad.

7. Have you ever had a one night stand?

Yes

8. How do you feel about phone sex?

Not any good at it. I have given a few drunk calls though (long time ago) - and you already know what I have drunk texted.

9. Do you look at porn on the Internet?

I have.

10. Would you pose naked in a magazine for 10,000 buck aroos!

No.

11. Have you ever tried Tantric Sex?

I do not even know what that is, so I guess no.

12. Are you a sex initiator?

I would rather not be but I would probably only have sex with the Boyfriend once a year if I wasn't.

13. Are you addicted to Sex?

Not sex, no. I like the intimacy, the desire, the passion, the feeling of being connected to someone, being wanted.

14. Sexiest part of a woman's body?

My mind.

15. Are you into bondage?

Not sure I can say "into", but the few experiences I have had were extremely pleasurable. I know this will sound like a non-answer, but I think I will say that if my Lover is "into" it, then I am "into" it. Having said that, I will add that I do like being restrained by my Lover physically during sex; holding my wrists, putting my legs over my head, things like that.

16. Do you like to be tied up or be the tie-er upper?

I do not ever see me wanting to tie someone up or to be with someone who wanted to be tied up.

17. Longest sex session?

I wrote about a recent episode with the Boyfriend. My lady bits starting aching again whenever I think about his stamina that day. I think it was 90 minutes to 2 hours; felt like forever.

Now I have, on a few occasions, spent an entire day in bed too. More than once (though I always tell my Lover it was my first time).

18. naughty or nice?

Isn't it obvious? And would you really want me any other way?

19. Do you like to be spanked?

I used to think I was weird because I wanted my Lover to spank me during sex. It was not something I had ever heard other women admit; then I read it all over the place in blogs. Maybe it is just something we do not say publicly, but want privately? I do not know. I like it. Done right, that is.

20. Did you ever have sex in your parents bedroom?

Yes. A story for another time maybe.

and lastly...

21. How many toys do you own?

I read others as having ten . . . eleven . . . I have just the one.

I think everything I wrote here was already pretty well known, but I kind of enjoyed this. And I may regret this, but I would like to do more. If some would like to email me a question or two (do not be crude please), when there are enough I might try to put together another set. My thinking is that also tells me more about what you want to hear about (like I do not already know).

Mission Accomplished

I rolled over like I do any Saturday morning where I want to sleep to sleep in and just lay there watching it get brighter and brighter. The Boyfriend snores. He snores nothing like my Dad who made the walls shake. No, the Boyfriend's snoring is more like a soft white noise. It drowns everything else out, but is not loud enough itself to be annoying. It did not matter, I was wide awake.

I thought about what I had written last night and decided to take things into my own hands. Literally. I slipped a hand beneath my panties and worked towards getting myself ready. You can use your own imagination as to what I dreamed about. : ) Very wet and very ready, I took getting the Boyfriend ready into my own hands. As fate would have it, he was mostly on his back and not really under the blanket. He tends to get hot easy, so is often uncovered by morning. Trying to disturb him as little as possible, I eased him through the opening in his boxers and into my lips. The snoring stopped, so I could tell he was awake. He should have pretended he was still asleep. : ) I like it when I feel my lover getting hard in my mouth. Not really sure why. I have read others write the same thing. I guess its just a girl thing.

I had not really thought about what I was going to do next. The Boyfriend seemed content to let me run the show this morning. I decided it was a Rachel on top morning. On top is the best position for me to hit all those just right spots. I took it slow. Mostly, I just sat astride him, him buried deep inside of me, while I gently grided against him, not really even sliding him in and out of me. I kept this up until we were both close. Then I leaned over and began to seriously ride.

And then I made breakfast! I am not sure which surprised the Boyfriend more. Getting laid first thing or me making breakfast.

Daylight Savings Time?

It has been Halloween since the Boyfriend has expressed any interest in me physically. In hindsight, I suppose I could have tried a little hard my own self to encourage him. To continue being candid though, I think I was okay with it. And I am not sure it is just me either. Wide Load has been less aggressive also; not as un-interested as the Boyfriend, but still less than his usual self. Why? Well, it could be that we all caught some rare sex-killing virus. But I think it is the damned time change. Am I the only one who hates it. It is nice that the sun is kind of sort of up when I am driving into the office for the day. It is depressing as hell that the sun is going down when I am finally driving home . . . well, to the gym. It feels so late. I do not have the energy to work out. The only thing that has changed is the time. What gives. I should be the same, but instead I just want to get a shower and go to bed for the night (not to get laid, so get your minds out of the gutter guys). I notice the crowd has thinned in the gym too. Wide Load says this is normal this time of year anyway. Why do we still change the clocks. And please will they either remove that feature on the electronic devices which automatically adjust your clocks for Daylight Savings Time or will the government get back to when it was supposed to be? Why did it get changed off its normal schedule anyway. It is bad enough that we have it, but to have it all screwed up just adds salt to the wounds. Okay, I did warn you that I can get bitchy.

Maybe I will wake the Boyfriend up with something special tomorrow?

Harley Sex - If You Read It All

The incurable romantic in me believes there is one true love for each of us – that one person who is so exactly perfect for you and fully completes you. Harley was mine. It hurts more than I can describe that his one true love was someone else entirely.

I was thinking about him again today. I can not say why or what started it. I can just say that I was. I used to have a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings. I kept rolling over and over, putting off getting up until the very last moment, then rushing to get out of the door. I fell into the habit of thinking about Harley on those mornings. Not for the joy it brought, but because I began to hurt so bad that the last thing I wanted to do was lay in bed and think more about him. Yes, I know, do not even bother to tell me – that is pretty whacked. I would like to say that I got myself away from the bad habit, but truth is that I was still doing it until fairly recently. I just kind of stopped and was not all that aware I had. I think credit goes to a variety of sources. Partial credit occasionally goes to the Boyfriend. The dear boy can only get partial credit because I have been with him and while and I have been doing this a long time still. Wide Load gets some credit because, well, because he is Wide Load. :) He makes me smile. I find that I think about Harley less and less these days. Credit goes to blogging too, I think, because this is where I try – not always successfully – to say things that I do not say anywhere else. I do not know that I will ever be able to write about Harley from start to finish (it even hurts to use the word "finish" when talking about him), but I have been able to mention him from time to time here and it is not like I have anywhere else I get to talk about him.

What was it about Harley? I could say it was because he was the most incredible man I have ever met. But truth is, it was how he made me feel. He was my personal pep rally. He pumped me up and made me believe things about myself that I never thought before him. He was pain killers, anti-depressants, mood elevators, and tequila all in one shot. 24/7. And yes, he was viagra too.

I know this is a sex blog, so you guys do not really want to hear me go on and on about Harley – you want to hear the good stuff.

Harley was into 'ambush sex'. He would probably take offense at that, saying that he was being spontaneous. I call it – smiling – 'ambush sex'. He might be walking through the a room that I was standing in, he would give me a kiss, and he might just pick me up to carry me into the bedroom. Before anyone calls this controlling and abusive, let me stop you there. It was not. It was Harley and it was fun. If Harley had a flaw, it was his incredible sense of responsibility and always being productive. I think he approached fun (not just sex), the way he approached everything – fast and hard. When he relaxed enough to think about having fun, he wanted – he needed – it then. It never felt controlling or abusive with Harley. He made me feel needed and desired.

I think one of my favorites was when he was mowing the back yard. I brought him out a glass of cold water. I take responsibility for what happened because I kind of knew what to expect. I went out barefoot wearing just a pair of tight jean shorts and a bikini top. I expected him to drag me back to the bedroom . . . or at least the garage. Instead, he thanked me. He seemed really surprised that I had done that for him and was extremely appreciative. We stood there and just talked about nothing for a bit. He pulled me close for a kiss apologizing for his being sweaty. I said that I didn't mind and that was apparently all the permission he needed. I thought I was just talking about sweat! He began kissing me. I asked what he was up too, laughing, as he spun me around right there in the back yard!!!! Thank God he had a privacy fence. I tried to protest, but I guess my laughter took much of the heat out if it. He had my pants off and me bent over in no time. It is kind of hard to look graceful when you are bent over, half naked, hands on the ground for balance. Thinking about it, Harley made being submissive for him fun. He made me feel more like a woman than I can describe. I remember the look of his legs standing behind me – I could clearly see them the way I was bent over – and how they flexed each time he thrust into me. I loved it. I loved making him need me that way. I loved giving myself to him there. I pretended to protest the entire time that he fucked me in the back yard; all the time loving every thrust. When he finally came and released me, he did not give me back my jeans shorts. He kept them saying he would come look me up after he was done mowing the yard. I walked back to the house, swinging my hips, naked from my bikini top down . . . and I stayed that way until he came inside to finish what he started.

Sex as a visual?

I have heard from more than one man that sex is very visual to them. I have always understood that and have played with it on more than one occasion. Re-reading my last post, I think it became even more apparent to me. I am giving Wide Load his blow job and I can see us in the mirror. I can get so wrapped up into what I am doing – how does he feel, is he enjoying it, am I doing it right – that I forget this simple thing. Sex is visual.

It may not be true to all men and I am not suggesting that it is. It is clearly true with Wide Load. Harley also. I would say it has been true for every Lover of mine. And, while the Boyfriend has never said, I am guessing that it is probably true for him as well given his reactions at times to different outfits like the witches costume on Halloween.

Sex for me is all about the feeling. What I want to feel changes which kind of sucks for my guys who want to know how to please me. But, on the whole, I like feeling submissive or, at the very least, that my Lover is dominant. Watching Wide Load and me in the mirror, I thought I looked so submissive on my knees for him, that he looked so powerful (which he is), and that I looked sexy for him. I think I enjoyed giving that blowjob more than any I have ever done.

Halloween Sex

I detest being cold. Give me sweat any time. All summer (Florida only has two seasons, summer and winter), I listen to people bitch about how hot it is. I love it. The hotter the better, I say. Right now, it is 51 degrees outside. I am in HELL. I am so cold and that is with the heater jacked up and me wearing layers of clothing.

Fortunately, Halloween was a lot warmer.

I had planned a fairly sedate Halloween. I was going to walk along with a girlfriend of mine while she took her two kids "trick or treating". I had not been since I was a kid and was looking forward to it. I was not planning on dressing up, but at the last minute her kids really wanted her to dress up too. She did not want to do it alone and called to beg me to dress up too; I guess thinking that she'd look less foolish if I was looking foolish right there beside her. She decided to go as GI Jane (her husband is on deployment in Afghanistan). It was hard to be creative at the last minute. I put on a short black dress, black nylons, heels, and borrowed a black hat from the neighors kids to go as a witch.

The Boyfriend seemed to like it. He asked, "are you a good witch or a bad witch". I responded with "I am a naughty witch". That was essentially the end of his come on, but I knew him well enough to know he was hoping to get laid later with me still in constume.

I am headed over to my girlfriends when, not really thinking, I call Wide Load on an impulse. It was not that unusual. I typically call him whenever I have a few minutes. I was not surprised that he was at the gym. When he learned I was in costume, he would not stop until I agreed to stop and show him. I had thought to stay outside, but he was having none of it and all but carried me inside. Inside, he did carry me and lifted me onto the counter for him to kiss while he stood between my spread legs. (Oh, in case you are wondering, the gym was closed, we were not performing in front of others, no one was there – Wide Load apparently gets a key to any gym he has ever belonged too). Standing between my legs, I could feel what he wanted. To be honest, I wanted it too. But I also knew what the Boyfriend was expecting later as well. Yes, I have fucked two guys in the same day and gotten away with it. But, I did not feel like pushing my luck. I could see the Boyfriend pulling off my panties and askng what this big load of cum was doing there. Wide Load was not one to push the issue. But I did not like the thought of leaving him like that either. I got off the counter and got down onto my knees for him. He knew what I was offering and he did not hesitate to lower his pants for me to suck his dick. One thing about gyms is that they have mirrors everywhere. Out of the corner of my eye, I could just see myself, in full witches gear, on my knees with Wide Load standing in front of me and his dick in my mouth. It was kind of sexy looking, I thought.

Mission accomplished, I rushed off to go "trick or treating". It was a blast and her kids were a delight. She lived in a fantastic "trick or treating" neighborhood. GI Jane and I were also a big hit everywhere.

I returned home to the Boyfriend. Some time had passed so I was not sure he would still be in the mood. It is like that with him. I guess though he really liked the costume (and please note it was entirely G rated, okay), because he asked if it was his turn for "trick or treating" when I walked in.

Less Rants, More Sex

My "Half Naked Thursday" is going to be verbal as opposed to a picture. Sorry guys. :) My rant yesterday evening should be a hint to something about me, something I really do try pretty hard to control. What's that? I have a temper. Well, it has been said that I have a temper; I think I can just be 'misunderstood'. In case I am not being obvious enough in that last sentence, I am joking. Yes, I have a temper. And no, it is not something of which I am proud. I do try to control it. The Boyfriend practically never bears the brunt of it. Wide Load has maybe dealt with it once or twice. He can be such a butt though. Truthfully, no one has ever said once that I have a temper. I guess a nice pair of breasts and legs help me out in that area. But, I know it about myself even if no one points it out to me. I seem to do anger either not at all or full out pedal to the metal. Someone got on my nerves yesterday and what I intended as a minor rant became a full blown explosion. Now, this may sound weird, but in this particular instance I am not apologizing for the rant. The source of my frustration yesterday never did get that it was not what he said that was the issue - but the way he said it. His inability to take responsibility for his behavior is kind of what leads me to writing this tonight. I let someone else take control over how I was feeling. It does not matter how much of a jerk he was being - I was feeling pretty good that day and should not have let someone else have that much power, especially someone I did not even know. After reading everyone's kind remarks, I think I am going to remove the post. Again, not because I am sorry for how he feels or anything of that sort - but because my rant takes away from what I wanted this blog to be about. I am not sure any of this makes any sense. Maybe I am speaking - writing - gibberish. It makes sense in my brain; I am just not sure that I am conveying that sense down through my fingers into my typing. I want a relatiionship that is about passion. But the passion I want is not anger. So, I want to take a back step and refocus here. Long story short - less rants, more sex (thought you guys would prefer me to sum it up).

And again, thanks to everyone for all your kind remarks.

Biketoberfest Sex

I have been inundated with the question – “what happened at Biketoberfest”. Well, truth be told, it is a bit of a blur to me. Yes, I had a little bit to drink. Okay, maybe more than a little bit. :) I do not know how exciting I was – though Wide Load certainly did not complain any – but let me try to dig through the haze and pull out some details.

The second most frequently asked question was, “was I wearing panties”. Yes and no. Yes, I was wearing panties when the day began. No, I was not wearing panties by the end of the day. Wide Load was buying me drinks and driving me nuts by running his hands up my ass. It seemed like a brilliant idea to my beer addled brain to take my thong off when I went to the bathroom at some point and to surprise him with it by putting it into his hand. The fun I had surprising him, his laugh, and the kiss that followed made it all worth it. What I did not realize was that he had taken my thong and tied it around his sleeve, so basically the entire world could see that I was not wearing my panties any longer. I suppose that should also tell you how far gone I was to not have noticed for what was a very long time. And do not ask me – I do not know if I was or was not wearing them by the time of the pictures I posted. I seem to recall that as being fairly late into the day, so I am thinking I was going commando by then.

Now, as for did Wide Load get lucky? Wide Load was “lucky” the day he met me. :) I mean, after all, how many other women would dress the role for their man. But, as for did he score . . . well, duh? Slutty Catholic School Girl . . . add alcohol . . . the more correct question would be how often did Wide Load get lucky? A lot actually. Things began slow though. It kind of surprised me, but he was being the conservative one. I pulled him back to the truck at one point. I put him into the driver's seat, opened his pants, and straddled him. He slipped right inside of me like I was designed just especially for him to be inside. I was definitely without panties by this time and I can not tell you how much more naughty I felt walking around with his cum dripping out of me. Not much more happened until we left for where we were staying over-night. I tried to give him road head, but he stopped me. He apparently has had some bad luck with getting pulled over by the police. Never any tickets, but he says he just gets pulled over too much to risk it (he had stopped drinking hours earlier too for much the same reason whereas I was still feeling no pain). But I did get to torture him on the drive. I enjoyed it because I knew he would exact his revenge when we stopped. Which he did, time after time after time. :) :) :)

Okay, one more photo . . .

Okay, one more photo. :)

I was standing with Wide Load enjoying a hard rock band. He saw another slutty Catholic school girl and so I started dancing with her.

Slutty Catholic School Girl Uniform

I have been back and forth over whether to post this picture or not. Why? I do not know why. Probably for the same reason I get nervous every time I think about posting a picture. Okay, here goes:

Biketoberfest

This last weekend was Biketoberfest at Daytona Beach. Its been a while since I've gone. The Boyfriend, as you might have guessed, is not all that out-going. And Biketoberfest is all about being out-going. What's the point in going to the world's largest adult costume party if you are going to be timid and reserved? Wide Load joked about going – I played innocent like I had never gone before - but he said he thought it might be too wild for me. I came back saying I could slut up, but was not sure he would be able to handle it. (I have never told him about Harley. Truthfully, aside from this blog, I have very rarely every mentioned Harley to anyone, including the Boyfriend). What man is going to resist that challenge?

I will not get into how, but with a little creative thought, I was able to get away from the Boyfriend for the weekend. Suffice it to know that I was free to leave and come back when I chose too without concern of any questioning.

I met Wide Load out of town. When he pulled up in his truck, I got out of my car wearing a knee length jacket. It was kind of cute seeing the disappointment in his eyes. He had no clue what was under the coat and just assumed I gone conservative. I will admit that I was extremely nervous. I had actually purchased this particular costume planning on a trip with Wide Load in the near future. It was anxiety provoking enough to wear it with just him in the room – it was anxiety beyond compare to plan on wearing it walking down the street. So, what was it? He began driving and I began pulling off the coat; revealing me wearing a very slutty Catholic schoolgirl outfit. When he damned near wrecked the truck from watching me get the coat off, I knew I had succeeeded.

Coming Soon . . .

I have another road trip to make soon. Wide Load is supposed to join me.

The Couple in the Parking Lot

Last Saturday was a beautiful day. The sky was just the right shade of blue. It was warm without being stifling hot. The sun felt good on your skin. All in all it was the kind of day to be outside doing something. The Boyfriend asked me to go with him on a few errands and I was more than willing to keep him company. Ah yes, but he left out one of his intended stops. I won't go into details, but he can get lost in there for hours at a time. Instead, I had him get me a milkshake from a drive thru for me to sit in the car while he did his thing inside the store. He parked far out into the lot under a big shade tree, gave me a peck on the cheek, then trekked into the store. I was not paying attention to much of anything when two cars pulled in together and parked just in front of me under another shade tree. It was a man and a woman. She got out of her car and almost skipped to get into the passenger side of his car. Right or wrong, I immediately thought it was a couple having an affair and they were trying to have a private rendevous in the middle of the day. Smiling, I tried to sneak a peak through his rear window without being too obvious about it. A few moments later, the screaming began. She jumped out of his car and almost ran back to her car door. He rushed out and I, for a moment, thought he was going to attack her. I debated calling 911. I was worried for her, so now I have reason to give a watchful eye. Before too long, I realized he was the one that was probably more in danger. She was wild. It was impossible not to hear. My windows were down and we were not that far apart. She was pissed. I was not sure what he had done, but I knew this much – he needed to stay out of swinging range. Every other word out of her mouth was "fuck". She ripped him a new asshole. I really couldn't hear him say much. I am not saying he was being the saint here, just that he was not yelling. I gathered, from her yelling, that she felt he was being needy and trying to be manipulative and attention-seeking. That's my summation. She described it more like, "you're being the fucking girl with all your fucking feelings". This went on for almost a half hour. She was in his face. She never actually touched him though. While I could not actually hear him, what I could see of his face and body language suggested he was being equally a pain in the ass. She hollered why he couldn't just love what they had without trying to be possessive and demanding. She kept saying they were done, said it repeatedly actually, except she never left. Then I could hear her tone change. She was still loud, but her voice was getting softer and less angry. She sat down on his trunk and said, loud enough to hear, "you get me so wound up all the time and then I am wrung out". I got the feeling then that they'd been through this dance before and that, if he danced his part right, he would be getting laid before too long. She became more, to sound stereotypical for a moment, 'girly' with her giggling and gently touching him then. The Boyfriend returned at this point, so I will never know how it finished, but I am pretty sure . . . . unless he started in with his "fucking feelings" again . . . that he was going to get some positive attention (you know, laid).

Why tell this story. Mostly because it was something I did see happen and it interested me. Partly because there were some obvious games being played, though I am not exactly sure who was playing what. It looked like they had their male/female roles reversed. And it also looked like something he maybe did from time to time to get some attention – even being yelled at is better than being ignored. And if it had been a guy yelling, instead of the girl, would I have called the police?

The Bruise

I promised a post on the bruise upon my leg.

I will say I am sorry now to all the guys who wrote hoping to hear about some wild night. Sadly, the truth is considerably more tame.

On the night before I took the picture, the Boyfriend was feeling horny. I have described before how he gets when he is horny. He puts so much effort into trying to be subtle while finding out if I am in the mood or if he can entice me into being in the mood. Sometimes, his machinations are annoying. Other times, I find him amusing, like he's going through this pre-getting-laid dance for me. The poor dear has just never figured out that I am pretty much always in the mood and that, even if I wasn't, that I would still be open to being the perfect girlfriend for him. Well, unfortunately for the Boyfriend, the other night I found his ritual to be annoying. Do not misunderstand me, he was going to get laid, I just wanted to get it over with.

Let me repeat that last line – "I just wanted to get it over with".

I sometimes think I am God's little amusement toy. "Oh, Rachel wants it to end fast, well let me see what I can do about that!"

The more attentive reader will recall how I said that every once in a while how the Boyfriend gets these erections that just do not go away. Diamondcutters. And I was the diamond.

We began normally enough. He tried to be very attentive to my needs. I moved him past that. His getting off quickly was my mission. Hands and knees always seems to be a crowd pleaser, so I got into position and he slid into Rachel to take care of business. Yeah, this went on for a long time. How long? Well, the Boyfriend is not one who changes position much. We moved around so much that I could not even begin to tell you all the positions. Doggie, bent over, missionary, bj, me on top, me straddling him on the sofa (yep, he even pulled me into other rooms), on and on and on. So much for end this quickly, huh. Sweat was pouring off the Boyfriend. I know this because of all the sweat that dripped onto me whenever he was astride me. I will admit that he exhausted me. I reached the point that I was just there for him. He moved me and I went with him. I know he passed the two hour mark. Believe me or not. We started before Glee and I fully expected to be back before it ended. I could hear (we didn't turn the tv off) the 10:00 news coming on long before he finally finished. I imagine my eyes were rolling around in my head. This went on and on and on.

The bruise? Well, I can not say for sure, but I suspect it came towards the end. He had pulled me back into the bedroom and had me on my back in the bed. I have said many times before that his favorite position is me on my back with him holding my legs high over my head. I had been in this position several times already that night. First, though, hee threw me – I really was pretty much a limp rag at this point – onto my back on the bed. This time, he was standing on the side of the bed and I was laying across the bed. He lifted my legs up – not resting on his shoulders – and he held them by the thighs with his hands. From there, he rode me hard some more. He stopped riding gently more than an hour ago. I suspect the bruise on my thigh came then. I have corresponding hand grips upon my ass too.

He finished by moving me back onto the bed and lifting my legs high up over my head. I could tell that he was exhausted himself as well. I actually felt bad for him. He wanted to finish inside of me so badly and it just wasn't going to happen. I just looked up into his eyes. I remember him looking down into mine then. He took hold of the headboard, which was unusual. He later told me that his arms just couldn't hold him up anymore. He just hung there with his upper body over me and his dick buried inside of me. He didn't thrust anymore, but just rocked along with his weight because of the way he was positioned. My ankles were under his arms which meant my toes were also touching the headboard way back behind my head. He just kept looking down in my eyes. He seemed to enjoy that so much that I never dreamed of taking my eyes off of him. I looked up at him. In hindsight, I think he liked me looking so submissive for him. I knew when he felt something building inside of him. I almost tried to find the energy to rock with him, but then decided he was enjoying the way he was doing me right then. So, I lay there, continuing to look up into his face. He had closed his eyes by now, but would sometimes open them just enough to see if I was still looking. He rocked and rocked and then the most peaceful look came and I knew he was a second from cumming inside of me. He did and we lay there for the longest time afterwards. We didn't move until he finally slipped out of me.

Legs

My Thursday post on a Wednesday. Hey, better an early picture than no picture at all. Right? Those of you who enlarge the photos x a million (you guys know who you are) will notice the darkness on my leg. That's a bruise which might be the focus of another post someday soon. :)

Control

I love it when my lover takes control during sex. I am not sure how long it took me to realize this. Over time, I realized the things that I remembered the most or I enjoyed the most when I was with someone.

I remember the first time a lover held my wrists over my head while he rode me on top with me looking up into his eyes. He was gently thrusting into me. My hands were rubbing along his back, I think (what man does not like that!!!). He took a hold of my wrists and lifted them over my head. Then he just held them there while he looked down into my eyes. It may not sound like the most intense or erotic thing in the world, but I still think about that time. I felt so completely under his control and that he was completely inside of me.

I love being taken from behind. Face to face is for romance. From behind is when I want to be possessed. (And don't you think my ass is meant to be ridden from behind?)

I have been tied down once, but I do not find that nearly as pleasurable as being held in place my my lover. I can not explain the difference. I feel a tighter bond to my lover maybe. It is him holding me with his strength.

I remember the first time a lover took my hands and held them behind my back while he rode me from behind. I remember asking him about it later when we were curled up in bed talking. He looked genuinely suprised. "I did that . . . I did do that, didn't I?" He said he had never done anythhing like it before and had not really even thought about it then. I was bent over the bed and he was behind me. He said he had a rough day and that he had really appreciated being with me that evening (I really am incredibly supportive). He was fucking me and apparently I was really starting to get into thursting back onto him as well. I remember exactly how he sounded when he said - hesistant and nervous to tell me - that he wanted to ride me and fuck me. He did not want me, to use his words, "fucking back". Without thinking, he said, he took my wrists behind my back to limit my moving. I think he was afraid how I might react. I don't know, maybe it does sound bad that way I am describing it now. Its now how I think of it. I laughed and told him it was perfectly okay, that I was glad he went with how he felt and needed me. To this day, I sometimes slip my hands behind my back hinting for them to be held there.

Romantic Thoughts

Some romantic things to have happen for my bucket list:

I would love to be in the kitchen and have my lover put me on the kitchen counter, making love to me right there just because he could not wait long enough to take me into the bedroom.

I would love to make love outside in the rain.

I would love to call my lover home one day for lunch, but then suprise him when he pulls up by placing my nude leg outside the door and me concealed just behind the door.

I would love for my lover to tie me down upon the dining room table and place food and toppings on my bare body, turning me into his personal feast.

I love to for my lover to wake me up in the middle of the night with his need for me so great that he can not wait until the morning. (And of course, I would gladly cooperate).

I do not count the Boyfriend's bending me over in the kitchen that day as making love on the counter. First, I was bent over, not on the counter (technical point, I admit). Second, I was too terrified about having just spent the night with another man to be caught up in romance. And being bent over, while damned fun, is not romantic. I have done the last one once. And welcome having it done a few more times . . . hopefully.

He Noticed Finally

Sorry for the disappearing act. Most of the time I could never get any serious alone time with the laptop. Makes it hard to write about certain things when the Boyfriend is likely to pop up over my shoulder any moment. Guess I have also been feeling a little more paranoid lately too. And when I did have some actual alone time, those were times that I just did not feel like writing or thinking or having anything to do with anyone. For those of you wishing me another night out on the town, last night was a veg night. It had been a ridiculously long week filled with way too much drama. The Boyfriend had plans out with his friends. I had the apartment to myself. It was me, ice cream, and the season premiere of Supernatural. Now those are two boys I would love to spend some quality time with.

I am sure the question on everyone's mind is - did the Boyfriend ever finally notice my picture on his cell phone. Yes. I was busy working this week - and I swear it seems that I spend as much time on any given project trying to avoid drama as I do on the actual project itself - when my phone rings. It is the Boyfriend. He does not call very often.

"You are the perfect girlfriend"

I tell him that he can show his appreciation later that evening.

He fixed dinner and led me into the bedroom to have me as dessert. He 'appreciated' to a very pleasant orgasm.

Words Of Wisdom

Workout Girl

Called the Boyfriend THREE TIMES today. What did he say? "Why are you calling me so much today?". He never noticed once. Maybe I should have taken instead the picture I took today after I was left the gym. I almost hope he is with his mother when he finally notices.

Hugs
Rachel

I Try To Be Good . . . I Really Do.

I can not tell if I am a good girlfriend who does bad things or if I am a bad girlfriend who does good things? The Boyfriend was off doing something today and he left his phone in the bedroom. I could not resist scrolling through to see who he has been texting and calling. Yeah, nothing. No dirty pictures either! Not even of me! On impulse, I lifted my t-shirt and snapped a quick picture. I then assigned it as my Call ID. Wonder how long before he notices? Hmmm, I will have to call him several times tomorrow. : )
Hugs,
Rachel

Shoes

Why is it that most women love shoes and purses which is also perhaps the two things that guys care the least about?

How did I not inherit the shoe-loving gene?

Why are men so turned on by women in heels?

If given the choice, I believe every man alive would want his woman to keep her heels on when getting fucked - am I wrong? (By now, it should be obvious what Wide Load asked me to keep on while I was giving him a blowjob).

How did stiletto’s get to be called "cum fuck me heels"? (Granted, that is usually what I want when I wear mine. And yes, that's why I had them on when I went to see Wide Load)

Why do strippers have to wear shoes?

And just why are stripper shoes so damned ugly? C'mon already, it is the only damned piece of clothing she is wearing; does they have to be hideous as well? Do not tell me that they are sexy either because there is nothing sexy about platform stiletto's.

And, just for what it is worth, this is the sort of post-coital cuddling talk that Wide Load gets going with. Of course, when he does it, my sides usually start hurting so much from laughing so hard, and for some strange reason that just turns me on all the more, which then means I am working extra hard to get him all aroused and back in the saddle again.

Good Nite Kiss

Sorry, I have been a bit distracted of late. I promise to have something interesting to tell . . . even if I have to go out drinking again. : )

Kisses and promises to do better,
Rachel

Taken

A long time ago, I briefly exchanged emails with someone. The emails got increasingly hot and he included this picture in one describing just what he had in mind for me. I think it was just cybersex for the both of us and never went any further, but I did keep this picture. I wanted to be that woman. I love it when my man 'takes' me in this position.

I had way too much to drink last night!!!!

I had way too much to drink last night!

Went out with the girls after work yesterday. It has been a really long time since we have done anything together In time, it was just me and Randi; everyone else having gone home to their families. Randi wanted to dance, so she led me to another place for our fun. Of course, Randi is a country girl which meant my ass was now sitting inside a country bar. I hate country, but after way too many vodka tonics, I had this irrisistible urge to dance to it. The drinks? Randi took care of keeping us supplied with drinks. What that meant though was apparently we had a lot of men to dance with. Clearly, I was way to worked up!!!

I texted Wide Load for a bit - he was all into teasing and sexting, but was not able to do anything more. Oh, this was not going to do at all. I texted the Boyfriend, "you there". Sweet boy, he asked if I was okay. I told him yes, that Randi was riding shotgun and keeping me safe. However, I added that she did not have something I needed. He asked "what". "Your dick", I texted.

I told him, "I NEED you to fuck me tonight". I am sitting her now looking at the texts I sent last night and am shaking my head. It had to be some sex crazed evil spirit that took over by body, not me.

1. Absolutely no talking. Do not even say hello. Just be waiting and ready for me.
2. Be lubed up - you're cumming in my ass tonight.
3. NO TALKING.
4. When I start to moan, spank my ass.
5. I would love to suck your dick to get you ready to fuck my ass - but no talking.

I think Randi was involved in some of these texts by now, so its not like I was not being prodded. (And no, she did not see any that went to Wide Load).

She drove me home, which was good. I found him in the bedroom, sitting on the side of the bed, waiting for me, no lights on. I walked right over, dropped to my knees, and began to suck his dick as I promised. This was not about getting him off, this was about getting him hard. I stripped out of my clothing as I was sucking his dick; having fun with it by seeing how much I could get off without having to release him. Quite a bit actually. When he hardened, I went to the nightstand and picked up my vibrator. Getting onto my knees, my face buried into the mattress, I shoved it home. Nothing was said, but I had hoped that my ass pointed up into the air would be enough of a hint for him. It was. A moment later, I had my vibrator in my cunt and his dick in my ass. Oh, God, the fullness is about the only way I know to describe it. I came hard and, just before I started to cum, he began smacking my ass. HARD TOO. Its still red. Not upset now, smiling, I can totally understand his losing control and actually I love that he did. And honestly, I loved him hitting my ass hard then and just feeling him starting to hammer away at my ass with my vibrator still humming away inside of me. It was the perfect end ot a perfect evening.

Good Morning Everyone

Waiting by the door . . .

Random Musings

I have not felt well since Sunday. I normally try to post something of interest on Sunday, but was not up to it this past Sunday; not even a picture. Sorry. Spank me if you must, but let's save that for when I am feeling better. Okay? Not sure what it is, just ache in the shoulders and my stomach feels quesy. Please, no pregnancy jokes. I already ruled out that little worry.

I spent this evening resting, feeling bad, and commenting on other blogs. I am not an especially good commenter. Yes, another spanking when I am better. Ugh, gonna be sore. I will try to do better.

I started moderating blog comments my own self soon after beginning my own blog. Why? There were so many "cock" and "slut" remarks from men that writing for the first time. It bothered me is all I can say. I am trying to be open about my thoughts and experiences; please do not leave me feeling cheap for doing so. Make any sense? Most comments which do not pass the 'smile' test, simply get deleted. There was one which I have kept for quite a while now; even though I have not approved it yet. Essentially, I was asked what I defined as "getting laid". At first, I thought he was simply trying to be a smart-ass. I can not explain why, I just did. The more I read it, the more I thought he maybe had a legitimate question. What do I count as getting laid. Do I count it the same way a guy might? I guess, from my perspective, I would count a single time of getting laid the same as a man might. Did he get hard. Did he cum. If the answser to both of those is yes, then that counts as one. It does not matter how many times I might have came; once, twice, three times (actually happened to me once), or none at all. If my guy cums twice in a day, then I got laid twice. A part of me thinks that is a no-brainer, but the more I thought about it, the more I guess I figured some ladies might actually have a different way of keeping tally. That's how I do it, as a guy probably would.

Confession

Okay, I do not know why, but I feel compelled to make a confession. Everyone has been so kind about my "rack", as it is often described in the emails I have recieved, that I just wanted to come clean. I am not 100% natural. I had a little help a few years ago. It was something I always wanted to do and Harley offered to help - provided he got to play with them frequently . . . which he did : )

And I was not born a blonde either.

Gee, enough confessions. Okay.

Nite Moves

Only got a minute before I need to rush out to work. I woke up last night after a dream (you can probably guess about what) and could not go back to sleep. I lay there for a bit fantasizing. I could hear the Boyfriend's steady breathing beside me. Everything seems so unreal at night. I could not resist the urge and brought myself to climax with him lying there, steady breathing, completely unaware. Of course, I still wanted something warm inside of me (evil grin). I woke him up. Gotta go, bye.

See What Happens When I Get Bored!

I am not an HNT sort of girl. I am more like an HNW (Half Naked Whenever) sort of girl. I guess it has something to do with not liking to play by the rules. But, still, just to mix it up, I have to play by the rules sometimes. I had a picture all set for today. I was trying to work up the courage to show a little something. Am I the only one who finds it hard to take of picture of themselves naked? No picture ever looks right! "Ugh, who would want to see that" (meaning me). But then I had kind of a weird night last night and deleted the picture completely.

Today, I am at an appointment and he keeps leaving the room. I got bored and I decided to have a little fun in his office. I took out my cell phone and took this little picture of me 'trying' to look all sexy on his couch. What do you think? Was I successful? Anyone want to come keep me company?

Gray Rainy Days

I have been a little down the last few days. It has been gray and rainy every day. At least, that is my excuse and I am sticking to it!

Been thinking too. (I hate it when that happens). What does it say about me that I have two men in my life who I care for very much. Okay, I know what it says about me. The word "slut" comes to mind. When I saw Primo, it was out of town and that seemed to make it more of a dream. A very nice adult oriented dream, but still just a dream and not as real. Time with Primo was like putting on a bikini at the beach. I put my bikini on not even thinking about how little there is to it, but I would never consider wearing it anywhere else. I do not know, maybe I am not making any sense. Maybe I am just over-thinking it. I care for the Boyfriend. I care for Wide Load. I do not want to stop being with either one of them right now.

I guess that means you will get more stories too.

Oh, and on the "slut" word, I know some guy will write that being a slut is a good thing (so let us just say you did and don't, okay). I do not disagree. But it is a time and place thing. I like being a slut in the bedroom. I do not like thinking that is who I am though.

"Business Trip" with Wide Load

I want to describe the entire trip, but I do not write that fast and there is so much to describe. Condense it? But then what do I include and, more importantly, what do I leave out? It was just a completely marvelous time. My favorite bits were probably the drive down and back and maybe just listening to Wide Load when he's into one of his funny rants. But those probably would not interest y'all nearly as much. I know what you want. : ) And there was an awful lot of that too. I am a very tender girl right now.

I will tell you about whatever moment comes to my mind first.

The first moment that comes to mind was when we were in the bathroom. I was wearing just my bra, no panties, looking into the bathroom mirror, and putting my face on. It was evening and we were thinking of going out for a few drinks. Wide Load came into the bathroom and, before long, he was standing up behind me chewing on my neck. I think I have mentioned a few times about just how much I love that! He does it so well too! It was incredibly erotic to watch him in the mirror, one hand snaking beneath my bra, another hand reaching down between my legs, his teeth gently nibbling at my neck, his fingers not so gently tweaking my nips, and his other fingers slipping inside of me. He got me all wet and began to rub my exposed nipples with my fluids from his wet finger. He would dip his finger back inside of me and bring it to my lips . . . for me to taste me. It made him happy and I never thought twice about it. I arched my back slightly to allow my butt to press into his crotch. He was hard. I expected him to bend me over the counter, but he had other ideas. He turned me around to kiss me, then he placed his hands onto my shoulders and gently – though insistently – pressed me down to my knees. It was okay, I liked his taking control and 'making' me do what he wanted. I obeyed and opened my mouth to take his dick between my lips. He still wasn't done. He put his hands into my hair and just held my head still. Then he began to set his own pace between my lips. He started slow . . . increasing his tempo . . . till he was full on fucking my mouth. Men have thrusted some between my lips; none have ever done this to me. I do not know what it says about me – but I loved it. I concentrated just on keeping my lips sealed as tight as I could around his shaft, no teeth, and my tongue just underneath him. He kept on like this and before long I tasted just a little something different. My man was getting ready to cum in my mouth. When he did, I just held him, his cum, between my lips, listening to him pant and, I swear, his legs even seemed to be trembling he came so hard. He pulled me up to my feet. Kissed me full on the lips. Wide Load is a very good boy and knows to kiss the girl who's willing to suck his dick! Then, he surprised me more. He lifted me onto the bathroom counter, himself dropping down to his knees, and he began to return the kindness. Oh my . . . Wide Load is very talented. Only that didn't end it either. After he had me screaming in an orgasm, he stood up to hug me and I saw that he was hard again. OH MY. He carried me to the bed, ordered me onto my hands and knees, with him standing at the edge of the bed. He smacked my ass, shoved his dick inside of me, smacked my ass again (what had I done wrong), then he fucked me hard and long. Wide Load tends to like to move me around a lot in the bedroom. Not this time. I stayed on my hands and knees and he just rode me. Sometimes he was pulling my hair, sometimes he was smacking my ass, sometimes he was holding my wrists behind my back, sometimes he was gripping my ass and pulling, but always he was fucking me. This went on for what seemed like forever, I suppose, thinking about it now, maybe because he had cum not that long before. In time, breathing heavy, he said he didn't think it was going to happen for him that time. I told him to "put it in my ass". No further encouragement needed there!!!! Seconds later, his dick is shoved fully inside of my ass and his hands are pulling my hair back. "Oh yes", I tell him, "pull my hair, fuck me until you're done with me. Don't let me stop". "Keep that up", he said. Anything for my man, I thought, then I proceeded to beg him to finish inside of me, that he's worn me out, but that my body is his and to not let me stop until he's done. If that does not make a man excited, then I got nothing. It obviously worked on Wide Load because he pulled my hair harder and fucked me harder as well. His body was just slamming into mine. When he released my hair, the force of his thrusts just buried me into the mattress. When he finally came, he just stood there behind me, keeping me still impaled on his length, me too tired to move as well. We stood there – he stood there, I was on my hands and knees - until he finally slipped out of me. Then we collapsed forward onto the bed, the both of us, his arm and leg laying across me. I was completely relaxed.

WTF?

I must put out a strange pheromone when I have been thoroughly fucked into exhaustion because THAT is when the Bofriend seems to want me the most. Wide Load fucks me ten times in our trip. Since returning from my "business" trip, the Boyfriend has made love to me three times. All together, I have been fucked 16 times since this time last Sunday. Sixteen times!!!! I do not think I was laid sixteen times in all of last year!!! Okay, one of those times was actually between my breasts, but I am counting it. Maybe now you see why I posted the picture with the girl waving a white flag. I am not used this much attention. I hope to post something about our trip tomorrow. But seriously, what is it with the Boyfriend? I really am starting to wonder if my body is producing some 'post-sex with another man' scent that he finds irresistible.

OMG

This was me after 24 hours with Wide Load. Promise to write about it when I can get some alone time. Maybe even a picture too.

Hugs,
Rachel

"Let's go anyway"

Sadness, I had to cancel with Wide Load. It is a bit of a long story. The short version is that issues came up for the people I was going to see and we needed to reschedule. I called Wide Load and he took it like a champ. Maybe when I go next, we agreed.

Joy, I am still going - kinda sorta. I am at the gym tonight, busy training, and trying not to appear too disappointed. Wide Load comes up behind me and asks if the whole world knew my trip had been cancelled. Just the office, I said, not really knowing where he was headed with this. "Let's go anyway", he said. Why not, I thought. More time together. More to write about too. :)

I wet my pants . . . but not like you think!

I laughed so hard I wet my pants.

I am at the gym. I am training and talking to the guys (there are a few girls but mostly they are few and far between). I know most of the big boys in the gym now and have been pretty much accepted into their group. I am sure it has everything to do with my personality, though maybe the assets y'all saw in the photos have helped some. Of course, being tight with Wide Load, the alpha male to all those alpha males does not hurt either. In any event, they tend to treat me just like one of the guys and act their natural selves around me. I am standing around; pretty much done, but just not wanting to head home yet. The largest group of them were around me training, talking, and doing their thing on the same side of the gym. Okay, has the scene been set for you? In walk three girls and they go over to the dumbbells. I noticed the girls, but did not pay much attention to them. What I noticed more was how every one of my muscle-heads turned as a group, perfectly in synch, to face the face the girls. Jakob and Kal were carrying on a conversation and they did not even miss a beat as they turned, keeping on their conversation like all was right with the world. Jakob saw me smiling. He looked around and I think that was when he noticed what each horndog had just done. Jakob's sheepish grin just made me laugh all the harder. Then every one of them seemed to realize what they had done and just how badly I had busted them. I had to admit to them the girls were pretty damn cute. It was the hardest I have laughed in a while.

Wide Load seems pretty excited about this week. I hope it turns out well.

I'm Back

Apparently my last pic met with everyone's approval and 'earned' me a pass for not having written in a while. :)

Everyone has been very kind and helpful about the Boyfriend. Nothing really any different on that front and I would prefer to not dwell on it just now.

Truth is, I am still not feeling all that talkative about anything. But I guess it is like going to the gym - I go whether I feel like it or not, so I will try to write whether I feel like it or not. Ugh. Speaking of the gym, you are probably wondering what is up with Wide Load. I was not sure what I was wanting. I am going out of town this week again. I was going to tell him - then I was not going to tell him - back and forth in my head - and I finally just did it yesterday. I told him he could come with or meet me or whatever or not. He said he would love too.

Still not much to say today . . .

So, I'll do this instead. Hope I got your attention.

Hugs Rachel

Not up to it . . .

Sorry, I have not been up to posting lately. I promise to try harder to get out of my funk.

Hugs,
Rachel

Seriously, what more do I have to do?

I do not understand the Boyfriend. I have never denied him. I would do anything - and I do mean anything - to make him happy. Monday, I thought we had rounded a corner. He needed me. I tried to nurture and support him in every way imaginable. I can not begin to describe what I felt by doing for him Monday. I was in a glow for days afterwards. I could not stop touching him. And he has not touched me once. Okay, to be fair, he has not initiated touching me once; not a kiss (excluding the token goodnight or goodbye), not a hug, not having me sit in his lap or beside him even, and most certainly not sex. any affection we have exchanged was initiated, as it almost always is, by me. You have seen my pictures. Am I unattractive? Seriously, I want to know. Do I sound like I bitch to him all the time? I love it when he needs me in some way; emotionally like earlier this week or even just physically because he has hard on and needs release. I love giving. I love giving me. It is just that he does not seem to want me . . . or does not seem to want me very often . . . and those long periods in between are hard on me. The Boyfriend has gone fishing all day today. He will come home tired and not wanting to do anything (me). Wide Load is going to the gym this afternoon. I was not going to go, but now I am thinking I might. If nothing else, it will feel good to work out.

Nurse Rach (Part 1)

The Boyfriend was sitting alone in the dark when I came home Monday night. He was so quiet and it was so dark that, at first, I did not even know he was there. I had seen his car so I knew he should have been home, but just assumed he was visiting a neighbor. I dropped my gym bag in the bedroom and it was when I walked back into the living room that I saw him sitting in the chair; saw his shadow really because it was pretty dark with the shades drawn and all the lights out. He still had not spoken.

My first thought was “Oh God, he knows something”.

Suddenly sick to my stomach, my heart in my throat, I sat down on the coffee table in front of him. I asked him what was wrong – scared to hear the answer.

“I hate my job”.

My relief was coupled with feeling sorry for how he felt. I have known that he hates his job. His Director is a miserable horrible excuse for a human being and I can not even begin to imagine working for her. She is always taking credit for his successes – not just his – and blaming others for her mistakes. She only wants to hear how wonderful she is and how great she is to work for. I have actually heard her call herself a “people person”!!!! Apparently, today was really bad. They had lay offs. He had to cut several people from his department and, on the same day, she posted a new position of an assistant for herself. She claimed she absolutely had to have the help because she had too much to keep up with. He was eaten up with guilt over laying people off.

He is telling me the story; I think more because I had asked and not because he wanted to talk about it. Nobody knows him, so it can not embarrass him – I think he started crying. I felt so bad for him. Not knowing what else to do, I slipped off my shoes and crawled up into his lap. I took his head in my arms and held him.

After a while of us just sitting in the dark, I asked if he was hungry. He said “not really”, but I felt he’d feel better if he got a little something inside of him. Food, the universal cure, right? I started something, then came back and started removing his clothing.

“I’m not really up to making love right now”, he said.

“I was not planning on that silly”, I responded, though yeah I was really planning on that. Shifting gears on the fly, I said, “a warm shower will help you relax”. I just tossed his clothing aside and led him to the shower. He was pretty much just following my lead. Getting him into the shower, I then undressed and joined him. I was planning initially just to wash his back. I pretty much washed him completely. After I had done his hair, back, and chest, I teasingly asked him if he needed cleaning elsewhere too. He smiled back and said “that would be nice”. My boy was bouncing back.

The shower spray was on his back, so I lowered myself down to my knees. I washed his legs. Taking his dick into my hand, I looked up at him and said I would clean this myself, before proceeding to take him between my lips.

He was not getting hard. I had ‘cleaned’ him pretty well with my mouth and, so far, there had been very little response. He said, nothing is going to happen Rach”, sounding very dejected I might add too.

Great, I thought to myself, I had just ruined all the good I had been trying to do. I looked him in the eye, his dick just at the tip of my lips, “you like seeing me on my knees, don’t you?” He was a smart man to respond “yes”. I added then, “you like seeing your dick in my mouth, don’t you?” He remained smart with a “yes”. I told him to just enjoy it and not worry about cumming, that I just wanted him to feel good.

After our shower, we dressed and I continued to prepare dinner. My fixing dinner was a fantasy in itself. I was wearing a sexy black lace teddy which I had decided to wear despite the disaster in the shower. He sat in the living room and played with the remote. I kept checking on him, bringing him a drink, taking a moment to sit in his lap, basically anything I could think of to make him feel special.

Returning from the kitchen at one point, I was just standing in the living room watching something that was on the television. I could tell that he was just watching me instead. I was hesitant to ask if something was wrong, but I was worried about him so I asked if there was something he needed. Little did I suspect!

He asked if dinner was something that could be put on simmer. I said sure, asking him what he wanted to do.

“You”, he said.

I will continue this to the next post. I did not mean to get bogged down with so much detail. I do not know how, when I am writing to filter the details out. It is like I was trying to comment to someone the other day – you can describe sex only so many ways, its the details that make each encounter different. I worry about being too wordy. I know people have said I am not . . . but I still worry. In any event, not much left to tell, will finish it next time. Promise.

Wet Panties

No face picture, but then I suspect many of y'all boys are not interested in my face : ) Then again, are you really all that interested in my little girl panties either? For what it is worth - they are wet.

About That "Special Alone Time" I Mentioned . . .

"Wide Load (Part 3)" actually was supposed to keep right on going and there was not supposed to be a "Wide Load (Part 4)". However, I required a time out. To be blunt, I was worked up and needed to go take care of myself. Strange, I am finding it more embarrassing telling on myself that I needed to go pleasure myself than I found it telling about any of the things Wide Load did to me. I guess that explains maybe why I have a vibrator, but that is also very rarely used. Recalling the events for "Wide Load (Part 3)" had me dripping so badly that I was convinced there was a puddle in my chair. As it happens, my panties were completely soaked.

The Boyfriend was watching a movie or something on the television. I gave him a little kiss, telling him to finish his movie, that I was going to go read in bed. I went into the bedroom, pulled out my rabbit, pulled off my jeans and soaked panties, then settled in for some much needed relief. No special fantasy needed. Not that night. I just lay back, closed my eyes, and remembered the fun with Wide Load. I have said before that I do not cum especially easy and had not planned on things to be any different that night. I just wanted to relax and let what may happen. This was working really well. I was feeling good. Things were starting to tingle. I did not think it possible to get any more wet, but that was happening as well. And then I heard the door open.

"Would you like some help with that" the Boyfriend asked, taking in the scene. Say what you will about him, the Boyfriend has a knack for timing.

What I wanted to say was, "No thank you, I am doing just fine thinking about the Greek God who hammered me nearly senseless".

What I did say was, "Hurry up, I need you right here", patting where I wanted him to lay down.

He shucked his clothes and lay down flat on his back where I wanted him. I rolled to my side and lay my head on his tummy, taking his soft dick into my mouth, and keeping the vibrator between my legs.

The vibrator was feeling good between my legs. The Boyfriend was hardening in my mouth. I imagined what it would be like to have two men having their way with me. I imagined the Boyfriend and Wide Load sharing me. The Boyfriend would be in my mouth. Wide Load would be fucking me from behind. I could hear them talking to me; praising me for what I was able to do for them with my body, encouraing me to please two men at the same time, pushing me to suck harder, pressing me to fuck harder. I could hear them talking to each other; the Boyfriend telling Wide Load to pull my hair, Wide Load telling the Boyfriend to reach forward and have a turn at spanking my ass. I imagined myself being in the middle of these two men. I saw myself on my hands and knees, immobile, open, receptive, with both men fucking me from either end.

I could hear the Boyfriend's breathing getting more intense. He was clearly enjoying me enjoying my fantasy. I could taste his salty pre-cum. Soon, I thought. I imagined what it would be like to have my two men demanding my body and for them both to explode into me at the same time. The Boyfriend came and I took every bit into my mouth. I just held him then, caressing him with my tongue while I let Wide Load do his work between my legs. My own breating increased. Several moments later, I was creaming my rabbit too.

Spent, the Boyfriend and I just lay there. I kept my head on his tummy, He massaged my scalp. I was perfectly relaxed. I simply lay there thinking about nothing.

Name Change?

I am thinking Wide Load perhaps needs a new name.

The day that I first decided to write about Wide Load and his friends at the gym, I had been driving and was trapped behind several semi-trucks that had “wide load” banners across them. Wide Load and his friends created the same effect at the gym. When they were all congregated in the same area, there is no room to move around them. I guess because I am around them all the time, I never even thought that “wide load” could be taken as fat. Silly me. I was thinking about his shoulders which seem to go from one side of the room to the other.

And those shoulders are talented at holding me down for him to have his way with me.

I guess I could just call him "W". Any other suggestions for a name?

Hugs,
Rachel

Wide Load (Part 4)

I apologize for stopping where I did. I got myself seriously worked up remembering the evening and I needed some . . . ummmm . . . special alone time.

Wide Load had me folded up in two; my knees were up near my head and my ankles were way the Hell over my head. He kept on with no indication he was expecting to finish anytime soon. Hammering away at my opening, he smiled down at me. He changed positions, this time moving me to my knees on the bed, my face buried in the mattress, my ass up high for him. He continued to pummel my well used sheath.

He moved me again, this time pulling me off the bed. I was completely submissive at this point. I would have done anything – anything – he demanded of me. Pulling me off the bed, he pushed down gently on my shoulders. Compliant, I lowered down to my knees and opened my lips to accept him into my mouth. I swear to you, he actually gasped again when my lips wrapped around his length. His dick was covered in my juices. I could taste me on him. Creamy is the best I can describe it. I took him deep between my lips and immediately began bobbing my head along his length. I was thinking he wanted to cum in my mouth and if that was what he wanted, then I wanted to do that for him. He soon moved me again, pulling me to my feet and bending me over in front of the dresser mirror. I took hold of the dresser as he entered me again from behind. I lowered my head to the dresser top. He took hold of my hair then, pulling back, forcing my head up. I could see him looking at me in the mirror.

“I want to see your face when I cum inside of you”.

“Yes sir”, I said obediently.

He did not release my hair, but instead held onto it with both hands like they were reins or a mane and I was his prized mare. I gazed into his face. He was so intent. I could see him watching me; sometimes he was looking back at my face, sometimes he was watching his dick slamming into and out of me. The idea of him watching either one turned me on all the more.

“Talk to me”, he commanded.

I had already amazed myself at the things I had said; things I had never said before, so I did not hesitate to obey him.

“Cum in me . . . fuck me harder . . . do not stop . . . fill my hole . . . pull my hair harder (which he did!!!) . . . I want – I need – your cum in me . . . make me drip with you cum . . . ride me like you own me . . . fuck me . . . watch me . . . watch your dick fucking me . . . I can feel your dick sliding inside of me, you can see see it too . . . watch my face when you cum inside of me . . . tell me when you are getting ready to cum . . . please tell me . . . “

He told me.

“Soon”, he said.

“Tell me”, I pleaded, staring at his face in the mirror, “tell me what you're getting ready to do”.

“I am getting ready to explode inside of you”.

“Please tell me more”, I said.

“I am going to cum in you . . . I am going to fill my slut up with my cum”.

Oh My God, I thought immediately, he just called me his slut. I beamed. I loved it.

“Yes, I am your slut, pump me full . . . pleeeeeeeeeease”.

And then he did.

Wide Load (Part 3)

“Tell me what you want”, I said floating and looking up at him, “just say it”.

I do not know what I expected. I do not know why I had said it. I was like I was just riding the waves then and going where the motion took me.

“I want you”.

“How?”

“I want to feel you underneath me and I want to look into your eyes when you open yourself and I enter you for the very first time”

“I think we might can arrange that”, I said back as I put my feet down finally. I took his hand in mine and lead him towards the steps out of the pool. Kissing him again on the pool deck, I handed him a towel and asked if he would please wait a few moments.

I went inside, drying my own self off, then went into my parent’s room. I wanted to dry my hair at least some and brush it out at least a bit. I got out of the wet suit and hung it up to dry. Standing there naked, I looked in the mirror trying to see what he was going to be seeing in just a moment. I could not believe he was actually interested in me. I say that, but at the same time, something about the way he talked to me made me feel so incredibly beautiful and sexy. I was soaking wet . . . and I do not mean from the pool.

Choosing to remain naked, I padded in my bare feet to the spare room. I wanted to make sure it looked okay. The spare room was actually my room; or maybe I should say that it used to be my room. The room was spotless. I lit a candle. Taking a deep breath, I left the room. It was time.

Wide Load was standing in the living room. He had removed his wet shorts and was wearing the towel wrapped around his waist. I swear he looked like an ancient warrior or gladiator. I tried very hard not to self-consciously cover my breasts with my hands when I came into the room. This is not to say that I was not feeling self conscious. Oh God was I ever. I hope I can always remember the look on his face when he saw me. He was beaming.

I held out my hand for him to take and for me to lead him to the bed. Entering, I closed the door. I have no clue why I closed the bedroom door on an otherwise empty house. He remained standing where I left him beside the bed. I walked back over to him and lowered myself down to my knees. Removing his towel, I saw for the first time what lay beneath. Okay, I suppose you will want particulars. He was not huge. I was a bit worried that he might be, given that he was so freaking huge everywhere else. Basically, average size; a little bigger than some, not as big as others maybe. More importantly, when I opened my mouth to take him inside, he fit perfectly.

It is hard to describe what was going through my mind. I wanted to please him. I guess wanting to please him sums it up what I was thinking and feeling about the best. He gasped softly when I first slipped my lips around his length. I took that to mean he liked what I was doing.

If he had asked me too, I would have stayed right there on my knees taking care of him. I have to say though I was not disappointed when he moved me to the bed.

“Promise me you’ll finish that later”, he asked.

“I promise”, I said smiling, thinking he was enjoying himself and already plotting on when to finish him with just my mouth.

He laid me onto the bed. I did not hesitate to spread my legs for him, inviting him to slip into me. He kissed me while still on his knees, his body not yet fully covering mine, his dick just kissing my lowermost lips. He pulled his face back a bit, rested himself upon his elbows, then his eyes just seemed to dive into mine. He held them there while he adjusted himself at my opening. A moment later, he was inside of me.

I can feel myself starting to get wet again just by thinking about it and saying, “he was inside of me”.

If everything to this point could be described as “How to Romance Rachel”; then everything after this point would have to be described as “How to Fuck Rachel”. Wide Load rode me slowly at first; thrusting into me with slow firm strokes. He alternated between kissing me passionately to staring deep into my eyes while his dick stroked inside of me to burying his teeth into my neck until I squealed. He increased his pace inside of me and demanded more from my body. He took my hands into his wrists and pushed them both over my head; then stared down into my face while he continued to fuck me hard.

“What”, I asked.

“Nothing, I like looking at you”.

It made me self-conscious, but turning my head to avoid his gaze only made my neck a direct target again. I asked him, “what do you see”.

“I see an amazing woman underneath me”.

“Where, I thought I was the one underneath you”, I said teasing him back.

“Careful, that might earn you a spanking”.

“Promise”. What is it with me? Am I insane or do I just love to be spanked?

At that stupid remark, he promptly pulled back and out, grabbed my legs, flipped me over, and pulled my ass back until I was kneeling, then he pushed himself right back inside of me. I love this position. However, it also exposes my ass. He did not hesitate in smacking my cheek hard. Yes, I squealed.

He did not stop with just the one smack either. I know my ass cheek had to be bright crimson. He said, “I'm not stopping until you make up for that remark”. He must have heard me thinking it because I do not think I actually said anything – how was I supposed to make up. “Tell me you're an amazing woman”.

“I'm an amazing woman”, I said panting into the pillow, and then I ad-libbed, “who loves having your dick inside of me”. I am not typically a talker in the bedroom. I could not believe the string of filth that flowed from my lips that night. I begged him to keep fucking me, to use me, to cum in me, to keep spanking me, to treat me like a bad girl, to make me do whatever he wanted.

Wide Load needed very little encouragement.

When he was ready for me to be in a different position, he simply moved me there; sometimes just pulling, sometimes bodily lifting and tossing me. We were standing on the side of the bed, me bent over it, hanging onto the mattress, while he gripped my flaming ass cheeks and pounded me from behind, when he apparently decided he wanted me on my back again. He pulled out, then lifted me and tossed me onto the bed. I will admit it. I loved it. I loved being tossed and moved to where he wanted me; him just putting me to where ever he wanted me. He then did this thing I had not had done before. He was on his knees between my spread legs, he lifted my ankles into the air, then crossed them, before he entered me again. He rode me like this for a while before he then took each ankle, uncrossed them, and then lifted far over my head, I think they were touching the mattress above my head. What is it with me and wanting to fold me up – who cares – I love it. He pressed his entire body down onto mine with me folded up underneath him, powerless to whatever he wanted. I have never been with a man so big and powerful. Harley was big. Harley was strong. Wide Load was just more. I think that is the thing about Wide Load. Whatever you compare him too, he is just more. I can not begin to describe what it was like, although I am trying, to have such a big and incredibly powerful man demanding pleasure from my body.

Almost done – A littlle bit more to go.

Wide Load (Part 2)

We get to mom’s and I fumble with the key to get in the front door. Mom and dad had gone away again for the weekend. My mind was a whir not knowing what to do, what to say, or what to expect. I invited him inside and showed him around. Mom and dad’s house is very nice. I showed him the pool, then I went to get changed. I keep a swimsuit at mom’s; a very non-sexy one-piece. Hey, its my mom and dad’s house, okay. I debated briefly about coming out of the bedroom naked . . . or maybe wearing a cool whip bikini like the girl in the movie Harley always liked to watch . . . but I also remembered the guy she came out for turning her down flat cold . . . yeah, not something I needed to experience . . . so I went with the one-piece.

Wide Load was very appreciative. If I had not already been blushing at walking out in my bathing suit, I would have been with all of his compliments. I tried to just thank him and lead him out to the pool. It was about now that I finally wondered what he was going to wear. He was way ahead of me. He apparently wears special shorts under his pants on squat days and he had left them on for just this reason. However, he neglected to mention any of this to me beforehand.

I said something about did he have shorts with him.

He said “no, I’d planned on going commando”; at which point he began peeling off his clothes. I have never described Wide Load, have I? There is “big”. There is “really big”. Wide Load is “OMG Big”. 5’11”, 268 lbs (I asked him later so I would get this part right). It is hard to say now which shocked me more; standing there looking all of that muscle or thinking that he was going to be dropping his pants next. Okay, yeah, I was excited too. Before he pulled down his sweats, he asked me if I wanted him to stop. I said “no”, at least I think I said “no” . . . I opened my mouth to say “no”, but nothing may have actually come out.

“Turn around then”, he said.

I did not see the point, but he was pretty insistent. He wanted to get in the water first, then I could get in, he said. ??? Just consider how much my head was whirring before you laugh at me for actually turning around as he told me too. Of course, I was with it enough to try to catch his reflection in the glass doors. Not much success, but I was trying.

I heard, and kind of saw, him pulling down his sweats. I did see him toss them over my shoulder towards the house. Then, before I could react, even with me trying to watch his reflection, he grabbed me from behind and lifted me up into the air. He carried me towards the pool and, yes, I squealed like a girl – but I am a girl!!!.

“I thought you wanted to go in first!!!” My arms had a death grip around his neck.

“Change of plans”, he said, before jumping, taking both his ass and my ass into the deep end of the pool. It's been killer hot here, so I can thank God that the water was not ice cold to enter. Didn't stop me from squealing like a girl again . . . while he laughed . . . all the way into the water.

Surfacing, I shouted at him, and not about the fact that he had thrown me into the pool, “you got shorts on!!!” (Okay, I peeked when we hit the water). I splashed him, to which I promptly went flying through the air again what with his grabbing me and throwing me high up into the air.

I swam around him, dodging him, and tried to push him under. It was a bit like me trying to move a semi-truck; was not going to happen. Same result as before, I went flying again.

This went on for a bit until I surfaced behind him and jumped on his back, my arms again gripped around his massive neck. I say neck. He did not really have a neck. His shoulders and traps were so massive that his neck just disappeared into all the muscle. Nevertheless, I wrapped my arms around something. In my feeble brain, his back seemed like a safe place to be.

“Time out”, I yelled, laughing my own self. I suppose, in hindsight, he was acting a bit like a little boy he likes a girl; instead of being nice to her, he picks on her. I was not thinking any of that at the time. I just needed a breather. It is surprisingly tiring getting tossed around like that.

“You had shorts on all the time”, I chastised him.

“You are so gullible its adorable”, he laughed, at which point he essentially just shrugged and I went spinning around to be in front of him, my arms still around his neck. We were now almost face to face.

And then he kissed me.

I could not say how long I floated there in his arms, arms around him, the two of us kissing and the two of us talking about nothing in particular. I can only say that it was the most relaxed I think I have ever felt. Is it possible to be relaxed and excited at the same time?

I looked at him.

I said, ““Tell me what you want. Just say it”.

I was not saying I was going to do it. To be honest, I do not know what I meant.. I just wanted to hear him say what he wanted to do with me. Make sense?

(To be continued . . . I am sorry if I am boring some with all the bits which led up to the naked stuff, but this part also means a lot to me. Next time, promise).

Hugs,
Rachel

Wide Load

The last thing in the world I wanted to do was work out at the gym. It was Friday. It had been another long miserable week. I simply did not have the energy. Being the dutiful gym newbie though, I drove myself to the last place in the world I wanted to be. I told myself that I would just get through it and then go home to be a couch potato the rest of the night. I was thinking about even having ice cream. And a really big bowl of it too. I really like ice cream Uninspired, I drug my fat ass inside the gym. Wide Load yelled his “hey”. He was sitting on a bench near the squat rack. I went over and sat beside him.

“Motivate me”, I told him, “I have no energy and even less desire to be here today”.

“Sorry Rach,” he said back, “I’m the wrong guy for you today. It's leg day and there is always a good reason not to do squats.”

I smiled and threatened that I was just going to leave then.

“Great, where are we going . . . and will there be beer”.

“Mom’s house, there’s a pool and there's beer . . .if you like Corona”.

“I love Corona, let’s go. How’s Mom going to feel about me drinking her beer”.

“Mom’s not going to be there”.

I do not think it possible for me to ever forget his smiling response.

“God loves me, he really does”. At that, he was up, had his bag slung across his shoulder and was herding me towards the door.

I do not understand me some days. I was not intending to be bad. My 'being bad' was going to be limited to a 'big bowl' of ice cream later that night. I was really looking forward to that ice cream. I know - nobody will believe me. I was just playing around. I was. Really. And yeah, I ended up being very bad.

To be continued . . .

Question

What is it like being a man?

Surprise

I was reading a few blogs, just relaxing, trying to think of what I might want to write about, when I nearly choked on my drink. I saw a girl that I pretty well . . . or thought I knew well. She was a bit younger, her hair was a lot longer, but it was definately her; in all her naked glory. It is hard to keep a blog anonymous if you are going to post a photo of your face looking back at you in the bathroom mirror. Beyond that, post all the photos you like I say.

Hugs,

Rachel

Wide Load, My Mental Health Counselor

I am sure everyone reads Cande's blog. She is amazing. I often read her blog and ask myself, "why can't I write like that". Today, I saw the picture she took of herself and I ask, "why can't I take pictures like that!!!".

Oh well, to paraphrase Hermione Granger, let me return to things more of the muggle world.

I have been going to the gym. I returned to the gym because I was afraid I was getting a bit flabby. I enjoy working out. And, to be honest, I drive over most days hoping Wide Load will be there too. I find that I get to laugh more when he is there. Last week, as my writings indicated, was not a good week. I have been getting, the past several weeks, more depressed. More negative, I guess as well. It must have been pretty obvious this week that I needed a friend. Wide Load pulled me to the side and asked what was up. I told him some of it all. He listened. I decided to try being more positive about it. Not an easy task!!! Something good will work out. Maybe I am meant to be somewhere else. Maybe I am meant to be away from the office more (which means I might have more things to write about :) ). It is really weird, when I walk into the gym, my body is dragging and it is all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. When I am leaving, it is like I am less drained mentally and physically.