Friday, September 19, 2014

FFF Bad Idea

   Fight w your boyfriend
+ Going to the bar to chill out
= bad idea

   Fighting w your boyfriend
+ Going to the bar to chill out
+ Calling his best friend for support
+ His meeting you there to talk
= Really bad idea

   Fighting w your boyfriend
+ Going to the bar to chill out
+ Calling his best friend for support
+ His meeting you there to talk
+ Tequila shots
= Worst idea ever

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Vibrating Panties

A friend emailed this to me the other day and I couldn't stop laughing.  Poor girl. 

But then, if I was to be totally honest, a big part of me was intrigued by the idea of it.  And if I was to be really totally honest, I'd also admit that I continued to be 'intrigued' by the idea of it while I was taking a shower.  I'm not sure I can explain why.  Maybe both the naughty and public pieces.  I liked the idea of my lover being able to surprise me w a flip of a switch and send tingles through my private bits . . . and nobody surrounding us knowing.  Even better, he tortures me to get him a beer, show a little skin, say things to him or he will keep pressing the button.
Seriously, knowing my luck, I'd probably have the following happen.

Of course, let's keep it honest, just sitting next to Gerard Butler would cause me to orgasm.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Kinda/Sorta Date

I swear - I think being a Gator is going to cause my heart to explode.
All in the Gator Nation (isn't that everyone?) know that, two weeks ago, the sky parted to unleash a fury upon Florida Field.  Granted, it is known as "The Swamp".  But the continuous lightening did discourage even the most intrepid Gator from taking the field.  The whole ten seconds that they did play, the Gator looked more like he really was running through a swamp than a football field.  We were at a sports bar and kept waiting because we knew that eventually the storm would pass - it didn't.  Okay, we also kept waiting because there was beer.
And then last night!  Triple overtime!!  Really!!! 
On a lighter note, I went to the sports bar - appropriately named "Gators" - on a kinda/sorta date, I guess.  It didn't really start out as a date.  I had been asked out to watch the game, but I encouraged him instead to join a group of us that had decided to meet at "Gators" to watch the game.  I guess, to be fair to him, it became a date when we made arrangements for him to pick me up.  Now, to be fair to me, I had plans already to ride w someone because I did not want to worry about drinking and driving.  As I read what I'm writing, I'm thinking - "what a bitch".  But really, I wasn't looking to go out on a date that night.  I was just planning to hook up w friends, not just girls, to have a good time and watch the game.  A girlfriend was already set to pick me up, but he did live just a stone's throw from me and when he offered to get me instead to my girlfriend - who was driving a little bit out of her way - well, it only made sense.  I guess it became a date to me when he started buying my beers and I didn't protest.  Now, besides making me sound bad, I'm making him sound like he was not datable material.  No, really, he's a really nice guy (yes, I know, I had a guy friend tell me that being called "nice" was the kiss of death - but that's a discussion for another day).  I guess, what I'm saying is that, from my perspective, we kinda/sorta fell into a date.  And, maybe that was a good thing, because I'm not sure that I would have ever said "yes" to going out w him.  As it turned out, I had a real nice time . . . and I think he did too.  Hours of waiting w many wings and pitchers of beer consumed, he suggested we go see "Guardians of the Galaxy".  I'd seen it before (which I didn't tell him - thinking about it, he might have already seen it too but didn't tell me), but was totally into seeing it again.  Great movie.  And I never grow tired of looking at Chris Pratt!!!  Now, I did sincerely offer to pay for the tickets since he had paid for dinner and drinks.  He stayed true to guy code and wouldn't let me.  The movie was awesome, as I knew it would be.  He put his arm around me.  I lifted up the armrest between our seats and curled up into him.  He caught a little side-boob action.  At first, I thought it was accidental, but when he kept running his fingers up and down . . . well, once is maybe accidental and he went way past the once.  (Silent laughing).  Anyone looking for more sordid details, that was really the extent of the 'action'.  My favorite part of our "date" was when we walked back to his car.  He was opening the door for me, but then he suddenly stopped me from getting in - instead, he pulled me into him for a long lingering kiss.  I love to kiss.  His was perfect.  When he drove me home, he walked me to my door and kissed me again the same way.  Yes, I did the girly thing, and just leaned against the inside of the door after I closed it, smiling.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Mowing Rain Out

Sunday is lawn mowing day or, as Daddy calls it, the day Rachel encourages Mr. Murphy to sit outside and get some fresh air.  Well, right now, its lightening and pouring (yep, the same kind of storm that caused my beloved Gators to cancel their home opener).  I'd seen the weather report yesterday morning, however, so kind of expected this.  Sadly, for Mr. Murphy that is, I took care of the lawn yesterday.  Daddy made a smart ass remark about Mr. Murphy being disappointed.  I quipped back that he could be a good neighbor and go tell him. 

A little later, I was mowing against the neighbors chain link fence.  I thought it odd the way a weed had grown into the fence but paid it no further mind.  When I was about two inches from the weed, I noticed that the weed was moving . . . and that it wasn't a weed!!!

I peed my pants!!!