Can't Sleep Again

 

 

I can't sleep.  I get like this sometimes.  Not worried about anything (that I know of).  But I just lay there . . . hour after hour.  Or, like now, I go to bed extremely late and still wake up before the sun.  Most times I just lay there.  I wish I had a special someone in my bedroom.  This would be a great morning to be doing this or, to be more precise, to have it being done to me.  

Me

Not a recent picture.  But since all my past blog shots have turned into a white bar, I thought it fair to repost the ones that I liked.  And I liked this one.  I thought look good in it and I have really good memories w it too.

FFF

 

This was going to hurt?

 

She was on all fours.  Dark, her nickname for her boyfriend, was using her ass as a bench while he tied her ankles.  Her wrists were already bound to the front of the mattress.  Aside from a very sheer white blouse, the only other thing she wore was a blindfold.  How did she get into this position?

 

She lost the bet.

 

The bet was silly.  The stakes were not.  If Dark lost, then she got to throw away those damned torn old jeans w the rotted out crotch that he always wore around the house - the very jeans he was sitting on her ass wearing right now actually.  If she lost, then Dark got to do . . . well . . . he got to do this.  She lost and now here she was.

Tied.  Bound.  Unable to resist him.  She imagined all the wickedly wrong things he had planned for her.  And he had already promised her a spanking for threatening his favorite jeans.

This was going to hurt.

 

She smiled.

Sitting on the Backyard Swing w Tree

Memo to self: Friends help friends move - Real friends pay for the movers.

 

Long story short, I helped a friend move out of her apartment last Saturday.  The good news was that she lived on the first floor.  The bad news was that she was moving into a second floor apartment.  By the end of the day, my legs and arms were exhausted.  It was hard to say which part of my body hurt the most. 

 

I got through the day telling myself, over and over again, that I would go home and chill w Daddy watching a football game.  Okay, so I was having a blonde moment.  I thought for sure that one of the playoff games was on late Saturday.  Wrong!!!!  Both games were on Sunday.  Stupid, stupid Rachel.  So, to recap, I was hurting, miserable, and no damned football game to watch.  It was not going to be a pleasant evening.

 

Tree called and asked if I would like to go out.  (I  just love guys who wait till the last f--ing moment to ask a girl).  I said "no" and asked if he'd like to come over to watch football w me and Daddy.  Actually, it was Tree who then broke the news to me about the football games.  Good thing he realized the cursing that followed was not intended towards him.  I invited him over to watch movies w us instead.  The three of us sat down in the living room to pizza and "The Avengers".  Awesome movie!!!  Daddy and Tree were busy having a nerd-fest talking about Thor, Hulk, Ironman, Spider-Man, and pretty much every comic book superhero there has ever been.  I watched the movie and watched them (and smiling because Daddy seemed happy).

 

Daddy kind of made himself scarce after the movie.  It was nice outside, so we decided to take a walk.  And by walk, I mean we went into the backyard and sat on the swing.  I'm not really sure I can remember what we talked about or if we even talked.  Mostly, I just remember feeling completely relaxed.

 

I was curled up against Tree for a while.  I would lift my head and he would take the hint to kiss me.  Then I would lay my head back on his shoulder.  After a while, I scooted around until I was laying on my back and my head was in his lap.  I figured this would give him a chance to 'sneak' a hand under my bra.  Aside from the first time by the lake, Tree was not often very aggressive.  As expected, Tree's hand was soon under my bra.  I kept pulling him down to kiss me.  And I watched his face while played w my breast.  Tree is fascinated w my boobs.  He always gets this pleasant looking smile on his face when he is holding us ("us" is me and my breasts).  The swing is pretty well into the shadows and my parents room was not facing it either, so I was not all that concerned about being seen.  I was feeling relaxed, happy, and we could not be seen - clearly a recipe for Rachel's getting into trouble.

 

I began to move from Tree's lap.  I suspected he was disappointed at not being able to play w my breasts any longer.  I didn't think he would be disappointed for too long because I had something else in mind.  There was no real forethought into any of this.  The swing was not big enough for me to do what I initially had in mind; which was turning over to my stomach w my head in his lap.  So, I got up and got down onto my knees between his legs. 

 

I began undoing his belt and unzipping his pants.  He said, "what are you doing?".

 

I have been asked this question before by guys.  I would think it pretty obvious what's happening when a girl is on her knees undoing your pants.   What is it - do y'all just not get enough blowjobs to be able to tell when it's obviously getting ready to happen?  I decided to let my mouth do its speaking in another way.

 

When enough of him was free, I leaned forward and took him between my lips.  I will never forget his gasp when my lips first wrapped around him.  I guess that probably answered his question, huh.  A few moments later, I pulled his pants down further to make it easier for us both. 

 

I just kind of took my time w it.  I was just enjoying myself and the best I can describe is that I wanted to do this for him.  I was enjoying my making him happy. 

 

Of course, if my lips are wrapped around your dick, then you are going to have to kiss me some.  Tree never hesitated to kiss me every time I came up for one.  And I never failed to reward him by returning my lips to his dick. 

 

"Does it feel good for you?", I asked him.  Okay, probaby as stupid a question as "what are you doing", but I wanted him to say something to me while I was sucking on his dick.  He mumbled something about "oh my God yes".  I encouraged him to tell me more while I took care of him.

 

He stroked my hair some (I like that).  I'd like to tell you that he was a master talker.  But I'd be lying.  I really don't blame him.  I kind of took it as a compliment that I had him too flustered to be able to talk coherently.  He whispered a few things about how great my lips felt.  He did say one thing that I remembered and liked.  He said that he loved the way I smiled at him that first time in the tree tent.  He said he couldn't believe it when he actually got to kiss my smile.  And that actually being inside of my smile was a fantasy made real. 

I probably could have kept on all night.  I wasn't sure Tree could have survived it though.  I began to increase the pace and action some.  I used my hands a little bit when we kissed.  I think it's cheating to use my hands, but Tree was not complaining.  Tree was clearly reaching the explosive point.  I couldn't help but smile at him. 

"Do you want to cum in my mouth", I teased him.  He nodded his head.  If you have read any part of my past posts, then you know that he wasn't going to get away w just a head nod.  "You're going to have to tell me then".

"Rache, I want . . . I neeeed to cum in your mouth".

"I would love to do that for you".  And back to work I went.

In the movie version, he would have come very quickly then.  In Rachel's real life version, it still took several minutes.  But I could tell when we were right at the brink.  I vigorously rode his cock w my lips.  I tasted just a hint of pre-cum and knew he was close.  When he exploded, he let out another gasp much like when I first started.  Sweet!  I don't think he realized it, but he also took hold of my head, holding me there, like I had any intentions of moving.  I held off swallowing and let his cum fill my mouth.  When he seemed finished, I swallowed his seed and continued to bathe his dick w my tongue.  His hands stayed in my hair, holding me.  I decided to stay for as long as he held my head still.  When he began massaging my scalp, I slowly began to release him. 

I sat back onto my ankles looking up at him.

He leaned forward to give me a huge kiss.  I loved that. 

He fixed his pants and I crawled up to sit in his lap.  We stayed there for quite a long time afterwards.  Not really talking about anything special.  Just enjoying being there together.

I slept like a baby later that night.

Win One, Lose One

I want to thank everyone for all the kind words about the new banner.  Believe it or not, I am not big on change.  I thought I was, but Daddy was laughing at me yesterday telling how I really am not.  I want to be though.  I digress.  I really liked that old banner . . . but it was replaced by that damned white bar . . . so I thought I would try reloading things.  I do like the new banner.  I loved it when I first saw it.  And if I had seen it instead a few years ago, then maybe it would have been my banner then too.

 

I am going to whisper that I may have won a small battle.  I see that the new banner has stayed and the pictures I reloaded have remained up too.  Almost a whole day now.  Keep your fingers crossed that the damned white bar does not attack again.

 

But then looking at some other blogs I noticed another defeat.  It seems that anyone I signed on as a follower too . . . well, my blog picture (the angel) was replaced by that damned white bar too.  I hate that white bar.  I may try un-following a few blogs and then re-following them to see if the white bar goes away. 

 

FYI, I loved the angel the moment I first saw her years ago too. 

 

And Cande, for what it's worth, I started trying to learn to speak Italian. :)



The War Continues . . .

. . . and I'm losing. 

 

I feel like I'm trapped in some Twilight Zone episode that Daddy makes me watch.  Every time I look at Blogger, another piece of me seems to disappear to be replaced by that damned white bar. 

 

It's driving me crazy.  I don't really post all that many pictures, so what's the big deal.  The big deal is that I can't let it go now.  Did I mention my OCD?  It's hard to think of posting any updates when I'm stuck on getting rid of that damned white bar.

 

And the worst part is how stupid I feel about the whole thing.  Obviously I am doing something wrong.  I'm doing the same damn thing I have done for years . . . but now it does not work . . . or it works for a few days . . . and then that white bar appears instead. 

 

Today my Header went away.  I've lost the one I used to have, so I updated it w something new.  I liked it.  She looks mischevious.  :)  Now, here's crossing my fingers she does not disappear tomorrow too.

 

Sorry for ranting.  I hate feeling stupid.  Absolutely f---ing hate it!!!!

War

My blog and I are at war w one another.  I'm not really sure what I did to piss it off, but shots have been fired and there do not appear to be any signs of peace talks.  December, we were getting along great.  January, things turned ugly.  The area of contention appears to center upon pictures.  I noticed photos I had placed in my blog were being deleted and replaced w a circle w a white bar in it.  What the fuck?!?!  I would upload a photo . . . all would look fine in a preview . . . then when I publish I see the same dreaded circle w white bar appear.  I think I finally have it figured out and that maybe we are at peace.  And today, when responding to a comment, I see that my own profile now is replaced w that damned white bar!!!!! 

 

Now, time for a little fun fact about me.  When something does not go as planned - as expected - I can become obsessed w it.  Not able to do another damned thing until I finally get past that one stupid little thing.  Yeah, I have OCD issues.  Sucks.

What You Give A Woman

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What I Want

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight.  No reason I can think of.  I'm tired.  Sometimes - and I know this will not make sense - if I am too tired, then I can have trouble sleeping.

I also have this weird feeling tonight.  I want to have my legs wrapped around my lover.  I want to feel his weight on me.  I want to feel his dick still inside of my sheath still full w his cum.  He should be talking.  I don't care about what: how his day went, his dreams, a hobby or favorite past-time, plans for us, anything really, as long as I can hear how happy he is.

Mayan Calendar and Superman

 

Tree emailed me this photo earlier today to forward to Daddy cause he knows Daddy is a fan of the Man of Steel.  He asked if I'd like to go out tonight after he gets off work.  (And Daddy loved the picture).

The State of My Affairs

My life and the men in my life make me so confused:

 

The Boyfriend?  I suppose that I still refer to him as the "Boyfriend" should suggest my confusion over our relationship.  I say "my" because I'm not really sure the Boyfriend is all that confused.  We're not currently living together, but then again I'm over there three to four times a week for dinner.  We talk daily on the phone.  And sex, when it does happen, I am almost always the aggressor, like usual.  Aside from not seeing my lovely face every morning (that's me being funny because I am not a morning person), not that much has changed for him.  If anything, from his perspective, it's probably an improvement.  He still gets laid as often as before.  And he gets his space.

 

Harley?  Harley resurfaced last weekend.  A brief text, like he had never been away, asking me how I was doing.  Whenever Harley begins to reappear, he always does a little recon before fully surfacing.  If I seem mad or distant, then he goes back under for a little longer.  I probably sound a little bitter.  I guess I am, sometimes more than others.  I love Harley and there's no point in my denying that, I suppose.  I accept that we'll never be together.  I decided a while back that I wasn't ready to end it yet, so I'm trying to enjoy what we have until it does end.  Therapist tells me I will know when that time is.  It isn't now though.

 

Miami?  Y'all have never heard of Miami.  No real reason to include him except that we probably touch base every day.  Aside from that, not much to tell.  I met him at a workshop many many months ago.  Nothing happened.  We emailed for a while and things grew increasingly warmer in the emails and texts.  That's all its been though.  Just being friends and playing around.  Who knows though.

 

Tree?  I sometimes think Tree might be the most normal relationship I've had in a while.  Nobody makes me feel the way Harley does.  But Tree is funny.  We've gone out a few times.  Yes, actual dates.  We're talking movies and dinner type stuff.  I haven't written anything about my dates out w Tree because, well, there really isn't much to write.  We hold hands at the movies.  We neck some.  Tree looks for opportunities to touch my boobs.  It gets kind of funny to me actually.  We might be watching a movie (Tree loves movies you might be guessing), holding hands, and I will eventually feel his arm moving until its brushing up against my boob.  Sometimes I let him go through olympic type efforts, other times I just press into him to make his day instead.  He's not tried to take things further yet.

 

I'm feeling a bit down tonight.  Another old friend texted me out of the blue today.  She was thanking me for being her friend and that she never told me how much she appreciated my support.  Now, I have not spoken to her, or had any contact w her, in two years.  But I know that tone.  I get sentimental like that myself when I'm really sad.  I asked her what was up.  She eventually began telling me about her husband wanting a divorce.  She adores this guy.  Always has.  I don't really understand what happened, but she was heartbroken over how angry their divorce was being and how "evil" he was being towards her.  It just got me bummed.  They moved away is why we grew apart, but I always liked her a lot and I hurt for her.  Sorry for rambling.  It just got me pondering the men in my life.