Saturday Night At The Fights (UFC)

Randi calls me Saturday evening. A group of her friends were going over to Hooters to watch the UFC fights. She knew that I liked UFC and thought I might enjoy going along. The boyfriend would not budge from his chair. I do not get him sometimes. He had a girlfriend approved opportunity to go watch guys beat on each other while being served by scantily clad women; as if that were not enough, he knows what I am like when I have been drinking. But, and this is the part I do not get, he wanted to sit home and watch television. After several frustrating minutes of trying to get him to go, I told him I was going to go alone then.

I had a great time.

Anderson Silva was a jerk in how he showboated the entire fight. I can see, if you are truly that good, showboating for part of a round or maybe an entire round. But, after that, just try to finish the fight. I would love to see Silva fight GSP (George St. Pierre), but I doubt that will ever happen because of the differences in their weight classes. If they did, I can say this - Silva would not pull that junk with GSP.

Randi's friends were great too. There were four women, counting me, and six men. I wish I could do a better job of describing everything, it was all so much fun. Maybe you just had to be there for it to be funny, maybe the alcohol made it all so funny, maybe the alcohol just destroyed my memory, maybe I just suck at writing, or maybe some combination of the above. This is some of what I vaguely recall:

Susie announced to the bar that she is a shapely woman; adding then that "round is a shape". Randi said her nips were the size of a quarter. Susie retorted that hers were a silver dollar. When I said I did not know mine, Randi walks around behind my chair and starts looking down my blouse. I am thinking she is only going to fake the next bit, but nope, she reaches down my blouse and begins to move my bra around to see my nipples. The guys at the table stopped watching the fight and starting paying more attention to us (the fight going on then was boring anyway). Apparently mine were more like a nickel. Randi has a "gag reflex". Susie was proud of herself for not having one. I stayed quiet!!!!! Josie, who I swear could not have been over 18, saved me by chiming in with how fruit juice makes semen taste sweeter. Her boyfriend promptly asked the waitress if they had any fruit juice. The benefits of hair pulling and ass slapping were fully discussed. And tattoos (of course, Randi has several if you remember).

The men were all perfect gentleman too througout the entire night, even when the conversation was at its most sexual. Not one of them tried to hit on any of the ladies or anything. Do not misunderstand me, I am sure that each of them would have eagerly slept with any of us, including the 'shapely' Susie. They were still respectful of us. (Big sigh). I would not have done anything, but I kept noticing Joe who was sitting on the other side of the table. He was the oldest - I think he was 52 - but he was also the most in shape. He said he went to the gym, but that he has always been strong, probably from the auto repair shop he owns. He was very into the fights and did not say much; and maybe did not say much because he was the oldest by quite a bit too. Too bad, I thought he was the most attractive and the most interesting (next to Randi and Susie of course). I started wondering what was wrong with me. The boyfriend is actually trying - okay, I am actually trying and he is going along for the ride - but there I was thinking about another man. I was not sure I was every going to be satisified. I just had another drink and listened to Randi and Susie.

Rachel