Random Musings

I have not felt well since Sunday. I normally try to post something of interest on Sunday, but was not up to it this past Sunday; not even a picture. Sorry. Spank me if you must, but let's save that for when I am feeling better. Okay? Not sure what it is, just ache in the shoulders and my stomach feels quesy. Please, no pregnancy jokes. I already ruled out that little worry.

I spent this evening resting, feeling bad, and commenting on other blogs. I am not an especially good commenter. Yes, another spanking when I am better. Ugh, gonna be sore. I will try to do better.

I started moderating blog comments my own self soon after beginning my own blog. Why? There were so many "cock" and "slut" remarks from men that writing for the first time. It bothered me is all I can say. I am trying to be open about my thoughts and experiences; please do not leave me feeling cheap for doing so. Make any sense? Most comments which do not pass the 'smile' test, simply get deleted. There was one which I have kept for quite a while now; even though I have not approved it yet. Essentially, I was asked what I defined as "getting laid". At first, I thought he was simply trying to be a smart-ass. I can not explain why, I just did. The more I read it, the more I thought he maybe had a legitimate question. What do I count as getting laid. Do I count it the same way a guy might? I guess, from my perspective, I would count a single time of getting laid the same as a man might. Did he get hard. Did he cum. If the answser to both of those is yes, then that counts as one. It does not matter how many times I might have came; once, twice, three times (actually happened to me once), or none at all. If my guy cums twice in a day, then I got laid twice. A part of me thinks that is a no-brainer, but the more I thought about it, the more I guess I figured some ladies might actually have a different way of keeping tally. That's how I do it, as a guy probably would.

Confession

Okay, I do not know why, but I feel compelled to make a confession. Everyone has been so kind about my "rack", as it is often described in the emails I have recieved, that I just wanted to come clean. I am not 100% natural. I had a little help a few years ago. It was something I always wanted to do and Harley offered to help - provided he got to play with them frequently . . . which he did : )

And I was not born a blonde either.

Gee, enough confessions. Okay.

Nite Moves

Only got a minute before I need to rush out to work. I woke up last night after a dream (you can probably guess about what) and could not go back to sleep. I lay there for a bit fantasizing. I could hear the Boyfriend's steady breathing beside me. Everything seems so unreal at night. I could not resist the urge and brought myself to climax with him lying there, steady breathing, completely unaware. Of course, I still wanted something warm inside of me (evil grin). I woke him up. Gotta go, bye.

See What Happens When I Get Bored!

I am not an HNT sort of girl. I am more like an HNW (Half Naked Whenever) sort of girl. I guess it has something to do with not liking to play by the rules. But, still, just to mix it up, I have to play by the rules sometimes. I had a picture all set for today. I was trying to work up the courage to show a little something. Am I the only one who finds it hard to take of picture of themselves naked? No picture ever looks right! "Ugh, who would want to see that" (meaning me). But then I had kind of a weird night last night and deleted the picture completely.

Today, I am at an appointment and he keeps leaving the room. I got bored and I decided to have a little fun in his office. I took out my cell phone and took this little picture of me 'trying' to look all sexy on his couch. What do you think? Was I successful? Anyone want to come keep me company?

Gray Rainy Days

I have been a little down the last few days. It has been gray and rainy every day. At least, that is my excuse and I am sticking to it!

Been thinking too. (I hate it when that happens). What does it say about me that I have two men in my life who I care for very much. Okay, I know what it says about me. The word "slut" comes to mind. When I saw Primo, it was out of town and that seemed to make it more of a dream. A very nice adult oriented dream, but still just a dream and not as real. Time with Primo was like putting on a bikini at the beach. I put my bikini on not even thinking about how little there is to it, but I would never consider wearing it anywhere else. I do not know, maybe I am not making any sense. Maybe I am just over-thinking it. I care for the Boyfriend. I care for Wide Load. I do not want to stop being with either one of them right now.

I guess that means you will get more stories too.

Oh, and on the "slut" word, I know some guy will write that being a slut is a good thing (so let us just say you did and don't, okay). I do not disagree. But it is a time and place thing. I like being a slut in the bedroom. I do not like thinking that is who I am though.

"Business Trip" with Wide Load

I want to describe the entire trip, but I do not write that fast and there is so much to describe. Condense it? But then what do I include and, more importantly, what do I leave out? It was just a completely marvelous time. My favorite bits were probably the drive down and back and maybe just listening to Wide Load when he's into one of his funny rants. But those probably would not interest y'all nearly as much. I know what you want. : ) And there was an awful lot of that too. I am a very tender girl right now.

I will tell you about whatever moment comes to my mind first.

The first moment that comes to mind was when we were in the bathroom. I was wearing just my bra, no panties, looking into the bathroom mirror, and putting my face on. It was evening and we were thinking of going out for a few drinks. Wide Load came into the bathroom and, before long, he was standing up behind me chewing on my neck. I think I have mentioned a few times about just how much I love that! He does it so well too! It was incredibly erotic to watch him in the mirror, one hand snaking beneath my bra, another hand reaching down between my legs, his teeth gently nibbling at my neck, his fingers not so gently tweaking my nips, and his other fingers slipping inside of me. He got me all wet and began to rub my exposed nipples with my fluids from his wet finger. He would dip his finger back inside of me and bring it to my lips . . . for me to taste me. It made him happy and I never thought twice about it. I arched my back slightly to allow my butt to press into his crotch. He was hard. I expected him to bend me over the counter, but he had other ideas. He turned me around to kiss me, then he placed his hands onto my shoulders and gently – though insistently – pressed me down to my knees. It was okay, I liked his taking control and 'making' me do what he wanted. I obeyed and opened my mouth to take his dick between my lips. He still wasn't done. He put his hands into my hair and just held my head still. Then he began to set his own pace between my lips. He started slow . . . increasing his tempo . . . till he was full on fucking my mouth. Men have thrusted some between my lips; none have ever done this to me. I do not know what it says about me – but I loved it. I concentrated just on keeping my lips sealed as tight as I could around his shaft, no teeth, and my tongue just underneath him. He kept on like this and before long I tasted just a little something different. My man was getting ready to cum in my mouth. When he did, I just held him, his cum, between my lips, listening to him pant and, I swear, his legs even seemed to be trembling he came so hard. He pulled me up to my feet. Kissed me full on the lips. Wide Load is a very good boy and knows to kiss the girl who's willing to suck his dick! Then, he surprised me more. He lifted me onto the bathroom counter, himself dropping down to his knees, and he began to return the kindness. Oh my . . . Wide Load is very talented. Only that didn't end it either. After he had me screaming in an orgasm, he stood up to hug me and I saw that he was hard again. OH MY. He carried me to the bed, ordered me onto my hands and knees, with him standing at the edge of the bed. He smacked my ass, shoved his dick inside of me, smacked my ass again (what had I done wrong), then he fucked me hard and long. Wide Load tends to like to move me around a lot in the bedroom. Not this time. I stayed on my hands and knees and he just rode me. Sometimes he was pulling my hair, sometimes he was smacking my ass, sometimes he was holding my wrists behind my back, sometimes he was gripping my ass and pulling, but always he was fucking me. This went on for what seemed like forever, I suppose, thinking about it now, maybe because he had cum not that long before. In time, breathing heavy, he said he didn't think it was going to happen for him that time. I told him to "put it in my ass". No further encouragement needed there!!!! Seconds later, his dick is shoved fully inside of my ass and his hands are pulling my hair back. "Oh yes", I tell him, "pull my hair, fuck me until you're done with me. Don't let me stop". "Keep that up", he said. Anything for my man, I thought, then I proceeded to beg him to finish inside of me, that he's worn me out, but that my body is his and to not let me stop until he's done. If that does not make a man excited, then I got nothing. It obviously worked on Wide Load because he pulled my hair harder and fucked me harder as well. His body was just slamming into mine. When he released my hair, the force of his thrusts just buried me into the mattress. When he finally came, he just stood there behind me, keeping me still impaled on his length, me too tired to move as well. We stood there – he stood there, I was on my hands and knees - until he finally slipped out of me. Then we collapsed forward onto the bed, the both of us, his arm and leg laying across me. I was completely relaxed.

WTF?

I must put out a strange pheromone when I have been thoroughly fucked into exhaustion because THAT is when the Bofriend seems to want me the most. Wide Load fucks me ten times in our trip. Since returning from my "business" trip, the Boyfriend has made love to me three times. All together, I have been fucked 16 times since this time last Sunday. Sixteen times!!!! I do not think I was laid sixteen times in all of last year!!! Okay, one of those times was actually between my breasts, but I am counting it. Maybe now you see why I posted the picture with the girl waving a white flag. I am not used this much attention. I hope to post something about our trip tomorrow. But seriously, what is it with the Boyfriend? I really am starting to wonder if my body is producing some 'post-sex with another man' scent that he finds irresistible.

OMG

This was me after 24 hours with Wide Load. Promise to write about it when I can get some alone time. Maybe even a picture too.

Hugs,
Rachel

"Let's go anyway"

Sadness, I had to cancel with Wide Load. It is a bit of a long story. The short version is that issues came up for the people I was going to see and we needed to reschedule. I called Wide Load and he took it like a champ. Maybe when I go next, we agreed.

Joy, I am still going - kinda sorta. I am at the gym tonight, busy training, and trying not to appear too disappointed. Wide Load comes up behind me and asks if the whole world knew my trip had been cancelled. Just the office, I said, not really knowing where he was headed with this. "Let's go anyway", he said. Why not, I thought. More time together. More to write about too. :)

I wet my pants . . . but not like you think!

I laughed so hard I wet my pants.

I am at the gym. I am training and talking to the guys (there are a few girls but mostly they are few and far between). I know most of the big boys in the gym now and have been pretty much accepted into their group. I am sure it has everything to do with my personality, though maybe the assets y'all saw in the photos have helped some. Of course, being tight with Wide Load, the alpha male to all those alpha males does not hurt either. In any event, they tend to treat me just like one of the guys and act their natural selves around me. I am standing around; pretty much done, but just not wanting to head home yet. The largest group of them were around me training, talking, and doing their thing on the same side of the gym. Okay, has the scene been set for you? In walk three girls and they go over to the dumbbells. I noticed the girls, but did not pay much attention to them. What I noticed more was how every one of my muscle-heads turned as a group, perfectly in synch, to face the face the girls. Jakob and Kal were carrying on a conversation and they did not even miss a beat as they turned, keeping on their conversation like all was right with the world. Jakob saw me smiling. He looked around and I think that was when he noticed what each horndog had just done. Jakob's sheepish grin just made me laugh all the harder. Then every one of them seemed to realize what they had done and just how badly I had busted them. I had to admit to them the girls were pretty damn cute. It was the hardest I have laughed in a while.

Wide Load seems pretty excited about this week. I hope it turns out well.

I'm Back

Apparently my last pic met with everyone's approval and 'earned' me a pass for not having written in a while. :)

Everyone has been very kind and helpful about the Boyfriend. Nothing really any different on that front and I would prefer to not dwell on it just now.

Truth is, I am still not feeling all that talkative about anything. But I guess it is like going to the gym - I go whether I feel like it or not, so I will try to write whether I feel like it or not. Ugh. Speaking of the gym, you are probably wondering what is up with Wide Load. I was not sure what I was wanting. I am going out of town this week again. I was going to tell him - then I was not going to tell him - back and forth in my head - and I finally just did it yesterday. I told him he could come with or meet me or whatever or not. He said he would love too.

Still not much to say today . . .

So, I'll do this instead. Hope I got your attention.

Hugs Rachel

Not up to it . . .

Sorry, I have not been up to posting lately. I promise to try harder to get out of my funk.

Hugs,
Rachel

Seriously, what more do I have to do?

I do not understand the Boyfriend. I have never denied him. I would do anything - and I do mean anything - to make him happy. Monday, I thought we had rounded a corner. He needed me. I tried to nurture and support him in every way imaginable. I can not begin to describe what I felt by doing for him Monday. I was in a glow for days afterwards. I could not stop touching him. And he has not touched me once. Okay, to be fair, he has not initiated touching me once; not a kiss (excluding the token goodnight or goodbye), not a hug, not having me sit in his lap or beside him even, and most certainly not sex. any affection we have exchanged was initiated, as it almost always is, by me. You have seen my pictures. Am I unattractive? Seriously, I want to know. Do I sound like I bitch to him all the time? I love it when he needs me in some way; emotionally like earlier this week or even just physically because he has hard on and needs release. I love giving. I love giving me. It is just that he does not seem to want me . . . or does not seem to want me very often . . . and those long periods in between are hard on me. The Boyfriend has gone fishing all day today. He will come home tired and not wanting to do anything (me). Wide Load is going to the gym this afternoon. I was not going to go, but now I am thinking I might. If nothing else, it will feel good to work out.

Nurse Rach (Part 1)

The Boyfriend was sitting alone in the dark when I came home Monday night. He was so quiet and it was so dark that, at first, I did not even know he was there. I had seen his car so I knew he should have been home, but just assumed he was visiting a neighbor. I dropped my gym bag in the bedroom and it was when I walked back into the living room that I saw him sitting in the chair; saw his shadow really because it was pretty dark with the shades drawn and all the lights out. He still had not spoken.

My first thought was “Oh God, he knows something”.

Suddenly sick to my stomach, my heart in my throat, I sat down on the coffee table in front of him. I asked him what was wrong – scared to hear the answer.

“I hate my job”.

My relief was coupled with feeling sorry for how he felt. I have known that he hates his job. His Director is a miserable horrible excuse for a human being and I can not even begin to imagine working for her. She is always taking credit for his successes – not just his – and blaming others for her mistakes. She only wants to hear how wonderful she is and how great she is to work for. I have actually heard her call herself a “people person”!!!! Apparently, today was really bad. They had lay offs. He had to cut several people from his department and, on the same day, she posted a new position of an assistant for herself. She claimed she absolutely had to have the help because she had too much to keep up with. He was eaten up with guilt over laying people off.

He is telling me the story; I think more because I had asked and not because he wanted to talk about it. Nobody knows him, so it can not embarrass him – I think he started crying. I felt so bad for him. Not knowing what else to do, I slipped off my shoes and crawled up into his lap. I took his head in my arms and held him.

After a while of us just sitting in the dark, I asked if he was hungry. He said “not really”, but I felt he’d feel better if he got a little something inside of him. Food, the universal cure, right? I started something, then came back and started removing his clothing.

“I’m not really up to making love right now”, he said.

“I was not planning on that silly”, I responded, though yeah I was really planning on that. Shifting gears on the fly, I said, “a warm shower will help you relax”. I just tossed his clothing aside and led him to the shower. He was pretty much just following my lead. Getting him into the shower, I then undressed and joined him. I was planning initially just to wash his back. I pretty much washed him completely. After I had done his hair, back, and chest, I teasingly asked him if he needed cleaning elsewhere too. He smiled back and said “that would be nice”. My boy was bouncing back.

The shower spray was on his back, so I lowered myself down to my knees. I washed his legs. Taking his dick into my hand, I looked up at him and said I would clean this myself, before proceeding to take him between my lips.

He was not getting hard. I had ‘cleaned’ him pretty well with my mouth and, so far, there had been very little response. He said, nothing is going to happen Rach”, sounding very dejected I might add too.

Great, I thought to myself, I had just ruined all the good I had been trying to do. I looked him in the eye, his dick just at the tip of my lips, “you like seeing me on my knees, don’t you?” He was a smart man to respond “yes”. I added then, “you like seeing your dick in my mouth, don’t you?” He remained smart with a “yes”. I told him to just enjoy it and not worry about cumming, that I just wanted him to feel good.

After our shower, we dressed and I continued to prepare dinner. My fixing dinner was a fantasy in itself. I was wearing a sexy black lace teddy which I had decided to wear despite the disaster in the shower. He sat in the living room and played with the remote. I kept checking on him, bringing him a drink, taking a moment to sit in his lap, basically anything I could think of to make him feel special.

Returning from the kitchen at one point, I was just standing in the living room watching something that was on the television. I could tell that he was just watching me instead. I was hesitant to ask if something was wrong, but I was worried about him so I asked if there was something he needed. Little did I suspect!

He asked if dinner was something that could be put on simmer. I said sure, asking him what he wanted to do.

“You”, he said.

I will continue this to the next post. I did not mean to get bogged down with so much detail. I do not know how, when I am writing to filter the details out. It is like I was trying to comment to someone the other day – you can describe sex only so many ways, its the details that make each encounter different. I worry about being too wordy. I know people have said I am not . . . but I still worry. In any event, not much left to tell, will finish it next time. Promise.

Wet Panties

No face picture, but then I suspect many of y'all boys are not interested in my face : ) Then again, are you really all that interested in my little girl panties either? For what it is worth - they are wet.