I hate going to funerals. Although I guess it would be weird if I looked forward to them. I went w Daddy today to a funeral for a relative of his. I guess of mine too, but I had never really met them. And, despite having just been at his funeral, I really still don't know anything about him. I think that's what I hate most about funerals. Yes, they're sad. They're supposed to be sad. What I don't understand is why funerals almost never talk about the actual person. Most are sermons. A brief mention of the person's name who passed, their date of birth, the date they died, then a sermon like I'm sitting in church . . . except that there is an casket up front. And today the preacher kept calling it a "celebration", only he never said anything about the actual person. I went to a funeral once. It was a procession of one person after another telling a memory about the man. I liked that. I remember another where the preacher had been at visitation the night before. I remembered him talking to everyone about the lady who had died, listening to their stories. The next day, he included many of them when he stood to speak. I wanted my mom's to be so much more. Instead, it was like today's and that bothers me now.
And then Daddy said something afterwards which bothers me too. I was stupidly ranting about funerals, not unlike what I just did . . . minus the bit about mom. He said not to even bother w his. I said something like, "oh please, yours will be huge, w fireworks even". And that's when he said it - "no one will come". I thought he was joking at first, then realized he was serious. He really believes that no one will come to his funeral. I reminded him that he knew "like everyone". "Yeah," he said, "I know everyone, but not really friends w any of them". I tried to tell him that everyone called him for everything which just got the same type of response. "Yeah, people call me when they need me". I kind of realized this tied back in w the funeral today then. Daddy loves his extended family. His dad had died at a young age. Daddy tried to bond w his father's family to be closer to his father that passed. But they all kind of drifted into their own different clans. No one really invited Daddy into theirs. Daddy would get called when someone needed something, but then years might go by w/o his hearing from them. It hurt his feelings. After a while, he just stopped trying. I'm not quite sure how this translated into having no one at his funeral, but it did.
I hate funerals.