Saturday, December 29, 2012

Friday Night w Randi

The Friday night before Christmas was the office Christmas Party. Spouses and significant others were invited; Randi and me opted instead to go as each others "date". It resolved our respective frustrations w our love lives. In my case, Harley had disappeared and was not returning calls or texts, the emotionally distant Boyfriend and parties are just generally not a good mix, and Tree is just so damned young.  Given all my drama w the men in my life, it's been easy for Randi to fly under the radar.  Randi, you see, is an instigator.  And a drunk Randi is an uninhibited instigator.

The evening began w me learning a new word - "pre-drinking".  Randi wanted to arrive a bit early so we could have a few drinks before the others got there.  I thought I looked pretty damned good in a pair of painted on jeans, spiked boots, and bright red blouse.  Randi had on jeans also, w fuck me heels, and a green sparkly blouse.  The party itself was pleasant.  A few surprises and laughs, but nothing that would cause anyone any embarrassment back at the office.  The owner of the agency even got out onto the dance floor w me and Randi.  Nothing risque; all clean fun, though I'm sure he was beaming at the attention of two attractive ladies .  Randi may have been "pre-drinking", but she essentially stopped when everyone arrived, milking that same drink throughout dinner I noticed.  Now that I think about it, I wonder if her "pre-drinking" was really more intended to loosen me up beforehand.

The party broke up.  Problem - Neither of us wanted to go home.  Solution - Randi and I simply moved ourselves into the bar.  Mostly it was just us, swapping stories (and did I ever learn a lot about Randi), drinking, and a lot of dancing; mostly dancing w each other, sometimes dancing w guys who bought a few drinks.  And then a new problem surfaced.  Driving home was not really an option for either of us.

My beer addled brain saw this as a good reason to text Harley.  I'm glad Randi stopped me though.  We debated who to call; joking about who would be most likely to get us and who would we most like to throw into bed for a threesome.  We agreed that pretty much knocked Harley and the Boyfriend out as candidates.  Randi was keen on calling up Tree.  She eventually started texting the friend who had loaned her the truck we used for her Christmas Tree.  He texted back that he'd be there in a little bit.  It was a bit too chilly to wait outside for him, so we remained inside.  And as long as we were inside, then we might as well have another drink.  And dancing just goes w drinking. 

We managed to drag RF (Randi's friend) out onto the dance floor when he arrived, like any man is going to resist two women wanting to rub their bodies against him.  He did remain a good boy when we returned to the table and stuck to water.  We finished our drinks and made our way out to his truck.  At the truck, RF unlocked the doors w his remote and walked to the driver's side (when did men stop opening doors).  Randi took shotgun.  His truck was an extended cab and I had fully intended to get into the back seat.  Randi made some joke about me sitting on her lap.  The smartass drunk in me surfaced and I climbed onto her lap.  I hadn't planned to stay, but the next thing I know, we're driving down the road.  And I'm still sitting in Randi's lap.  And she's starting to cop a feel!!!!

It's hard to recall, given my impairment, what happened when.  A lot began to happen.  I think, in hindsight, Randi's putting her hands on my breasts was just her being a smartass back.  Then I had to go and up the ante.  I unbuttoned my blouse.  Not to be out-done, Randi put her hands on my bra.  "Do you like them", I joked.  She responded by slipping her hand under my bra.  It may have been cold outside, but I swear it was getting hot in that truck.

RF to this point was nothing more than an admiring bystander to me and Randi's game of who was the bigger smartass (by the way, Randi clearly is).  My dulled senses thought it would be funny to ask Randi if she needed to "pay" for the ride like she did for borrowing the truck to get her Christmas tree (see "Randi's Christmas Tree").  Randi put the question to RF, "well, do we?"  I caught that "we" and asked Randi if she had a mouse in her pocket.  She said "I got you sitting on my lap".  And then she tweaked my nip!!!!

I'd like to tell you we then proceeded to have this epic threesome, but I can't.  RF's sister was on leave from the Army for Christmas and was staying at his apartment.  I half expected Randi to invite RF back to her place then.  My mind was racing w questions; am I going to go through w this, is she just joking, did I want her to be just joking.  I was surprised to hear Randi say her place was out because the kids were not w their father this weekend.  I knew that wasn't true, but I didn't say anything.  Instead, we all agreed to a raincheck.

Back at Randi's apartment, I gave RF a hug to thank him and staggered inside using Randi's keys to open the door.  Randi stayed w RF in the truck.  Before passing out on the couch, I sneaked a look through the curtain.  I could see RF in the truck looking very happy.  Randi was nowhere to be seen.  Even my addled brain could deduce that she was giving him head.


  1. Call me next time you need a ride. That's the best designated driver program I have ever heard of....

    And I'm very proud of you for knowing that driving was a bad idea. We need your wonderfulness around for a long long time.

  2. Oooh damn. I wanna play too!! Invite me along... pleeeaase!