The Boyfriend's Birthday Present(s)

The Boyfriend rarely makes a clear request about wanting anything special, so when he said he wanted to go away for his birthday, I was stunned speechless. And, to be honest, I believe I was of mixed minds about it; I wanted him to have his wish and, at the same time, I did not really want to go. When the police called to tell me that my parents had been in an accident, we were out the door and on our way to the hospital in moments. It was probably the longest drive of my life. I think it was sometime in the middle of the night when I realized that we were supposed to have been leaving for his birthday trip the next day. And then my emotions came pouring out. I cried to him about our not being able to go, but he was a champ about the whole thing. When the world returned to normal, taking him on his trip was my first order of business. I am not trying to say I make any sense, just describing the craziness in my head.

I made arrangements for a Friday and Saturday night getaway. I really could not tell you if he was excited about his long delayed birthday wish, but I can tell you that I was excited just to be getting out of town and away from everything. When we arrived, I was not surprised to find him more interested in what television stations we got than he was in getting laid. This was not my first rodeo. I have gone away for the weekend before with past boyfriends and most were eager to get me out of my pants within seconds of getting to the room. They usually tried to be romantic and casual about it, like I could not see what was coming next. Harley was possibly the most to the point – that’s the kind of man he was though – he just started undoing my pants and pulling off my blouse. But, please do not misunderstand me; if I was going away with someone, then I was okay with it all. It is just interesting how each man went about it. But, this is the Boyfriend we are talking about. Instead of getting me onto the bed, he sprawled himself out on the bed and began surfing the television.

I am sure that I must have sighed silently.

I went into the bathroom to freshen up. I also got totally naked. I debated for a bit about whether to come out in just my bra and panties, or just my panties, because I always thought a little bit of clothing was sexier. After staring at myself way too long in the mirror, I finally voted for just plain naked. Almost naked - I put a bow over each breast and one between my legs.

Leaving the bathroom, I crawled onto the bed onto my knees and asked him what else he would like for his birthday.

I am learning that most people prefer short blog entries. I am going to try, but if you knew me, then you would know how hard this will be for me. I am just not good at that. This trip did get a bit long and involved – in a good way - so I will break it up into sections.

Coming Back

Hey there,

God has a funny way of letting you know, when you think you are really busy, just ‘how busy’ you really aren’t and, when you think you are stressed out, just how little stress you really do have. Just before I last disappeared, I was complaining – okay, I was whining – about being pulled into too many different directions and to being way over-stressed. A very short time later, I was considering those the good ole days and wishing for them back.

Mom and Dad were in a car accident in another city; a drunk driver T-Boned them at an intersection. They were okay. Well, they survived. The car was totaled. Fortunately, my Dad is old school and has always insisted on driving land yachts. Mom was bruised and cut up, but mostly okay. Dad was a different matter; his hip was busted, his ankle was broken, he had cuts everywhere to the degree that they sometimes are still pulling glass out of him. He was on a ventilator for a little while too. I guess that was when I thought he might die. A few days later, one of the few times she agreed to go home for a little while, Mom had a heart attack. She's okay . . . now. For a while there, I had Mom and Dad each in a different city in different hospitals. Different rehabs, therapy schedules, it went on like this for a long time. Please understand that I am not complaining - I hope it does not sound like I am whining - because they were the ones hurt and I am just grateful they survived everything. They are both at home now and their lives seem to be returning to normal. Anyway, that's where I have been.

Things remain about the same in my life. The Boyfriend was a great help during all of this. However, he remains pretty much as affectionate and caring as he always has been which is to say barely at all. We finally took that birthday weekend trip he had wanted. The weekend we were supposed to go away for his birthday was the same weekend my parents had their accident, so of course it was postponed. I think I am going to try to write about that weekend trip next. It certainly did have its surprises. Things have become strained with Wide Load. Some days, between us, it feels like it always did. Some days, we seem to be in different worlds. We have had some moments, good and bad, about which I will write as well.

Rachel

Boyfriend and Dad?

I had intended to write about sex this morning since, after all, this is a sex blog. But something happened this morning and I think I want to let my thoughts drift along another line. I promise though – next entry, sex.

It is a beautiful Florida morning. The sky is a deep blue. The sun is bright. I thought about playing hooky and driving to the beach. Instead, I came into the office this morning feeling bright and bouncy to be greeted by Penny who was pretty much being the exact opposite. I have known Penny for more than eleven years, since her daughter Tiff was five and Tiff is now sixteen. I really should have driven to the beach instead. Penny was angry with her daughter Tiff. Tiff is a brilliant gorgeous girl who makes extremely stupid decisions whenever it comes to her boyfriend Jamie. It does not really matter what Tiff did this time, just take it that is was stupid . . . again. Then Penny went into how Carl, her husband, yells at her and blames her for Tiff's behaviors with Jamie. I did a dumb thing then and I should have known better – I said something when I should have just kept listening. I really really should have just kept driving to the beach. I could have bought a bikini there and spent the day under the sun. But no, I had to be responsible. And that is probably why I opened my big mouth to Penny as well. I said that Carl maybe needed to stop blaming Penny and maybe needed to start looking more at himself. Tiff's boyfriend sounded like the mirror image of Carl, I said. Maybe if he treated Tiff better, she would not be dating a loser. Penny busted my chops saying that Carl and Jamie “LOOKED” nothing alike. Hm, I thought. Carl is an unemployed pothead and alcoholic who is always telling Tiff how bad she is. Jamie quit school to sit home all day smoking pot and drinking and is incredibly jealous and critical of anyone Tiff speaks to when he is not around. They may not “look” alike, but they damned sure act alike. Then I remembered Penny's father who often comes into our office. He is amazingly sweet to everyone; everyone but Penny. I have heard him call her fat (she's gorgeous!!!!) and stupid and a hundred other nasty things. All she is back is sweet and calls him “Daddy”. And yes, he is an alcoholic as well. Pattern?

What about me? How much is my relationship like mom and dad's? Dad would do anything in the world for me. And he is Uber-dad at being protective. Once, years ago, pre-boyfriend, he called me while I was out on a date. I do not know what I said or did, but he thought I might be in trouble. He made mom get ready to eat out then he drove over to the restaurant my date and I were at. I knew something was up so went to sit with him a moment to talk. He said he was “worried” about me and needed to know I was safe. I felt so warm and fuzzy inside that the date even got laid that night (the next morning too if I remember right).

Protective – yes. Affectionate – no. Of course, it was not just dad who was not affectionate. The two of them, mom and dad, never hugged or kissed that I ever saw. Not each other. Not me. I used to joke, but I was really being serious, that mom does not have a clue when my birthday is. She once called, several days after my birthday, and left a message with the boyfriend to tell me happy birthday. I could not tell you the last birthday card or present I received from either of them. On Christmas, they usually go away so we have not done much family things around that time either. Truth is, I was pretty much raising myself by age ten. I got myself ready for school, fixed breakfast, and came home alone. Mom and dad worked late usually, but mom would fix dinner and I just needed to warm it up in the microwave. Mom had a harder time with affection than dad did. If I went to sit on dad's lap, he would cuddle me up and make me feel all safe and secure. If I went to sit beside mom, she would try to slide over to give me more room on the sofa. But dad, like the boyfriend, never once came up to hug me on his own. Even as a little girl, I initiated everything with even him.

Rachel