Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Friend Zone

The Marine had to cancel our dinner plans.  His wife was sick and he didn't think it a good idea to leave her alone.  I couldn't really complain even if I was disappointed.  I pretended to pout.  He promised to make it up when I returned.

My previous post on the Marine was no tease.  I really don't know when we get together how the night will end.  I think the night would have ended happy; just not sure if it would have had a "happy ending".
Advizor made a comment, "God help him if he is" in the "friend zone" which got me to thinking.  If I didn't know how the night was going to end w the Marine, then did that mean the Marine was NOT in the "friend zone".  More to the point, do I never think about sex w any of my guy pals?
I remember a date who, when we were having dinner, I called him "nice".  I laughingly remember the pained look on his face, "don't call me that . . . it's the kiss of death".  He explained that girls didn't like the "nice" guy.  I disagreed and added something his being nice and a good friend.  You would have thought I'd kicked him in the nuts, "Oh great, might as well kill myself now . . . I've entered the friend zone" (thinking back on his pained expression, I probably shouldn't have laughed, huh).  I know some will wonder, he copped a pretty good feel that evening; strictly upstairs.  He never did get laid, but I will say that was more for his fault for want of taking the risk.  So, was he a friend?  Looking back, I'd say he was a date at that time.
When I go out w the Marine.  Its not like I'm planning on sex or even really thinking about sex.  But, if asked, then I would have to say the possibility exists.  And I like that feeling.  Is the Marine a friend then?  We're friendly.  I'm close to him.  I think of him as more than a friend.
The question remains then, is the "friend zone" the dead zone?  I want to say "no".  I think most women would want to say "no".  We like to say our lovers are our best friends.  Wouldn't it seem that becoming friends, then move you one step closer to a relationship.  So, why then do most men dread entering the "friend zone".  Men have their viewpoint.  Women have theirs.  I don't know that either is necessarily wrong.  This is where I know what is in my head, but the blonde in me is preventing me from putting it into words.  When I go somewhere w a man who is not in the "friend zone", its not like I am thinking about sex.  But I am not-not thinking about it either.  It might be easier to explain in terms of how I dress.  When going out w a man not in the "friend zone", then I am more likely to dress like I'm going on a date.  I may just be casual, I may be sexy, but on some level I have considered how I want to dress for what might happen later.  When I go out w a man who is in the "friend zone", then I am not even considering the "what might happen later" aspect of the night.
I like getting dressed for the Marine and wondering "what might happen later".

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