Sunday, July 14, 2013

I Broke Up W Tree

I broke up w Tree.  I walked up on him getting a blowjob from an ex and that tends to be a relationship buzzkill for me.  I suppose that's when I also started to spiral down.  To be fair, I had already been feeling a bit down.  And work had been extra-stressful (when is it not!), so I had been more tired lately.  All in all, I was not being a real fun girlfriend.  Still, I was a long ways from being a boring or neglectful girlfriend too.  I had decided one evening, in an out of the blue sort of way, to surprise Tree when he got off work.  I stopped to get him a milkshake (he loves milkshakes). My thought process was to tell him to suck on that while I sucked on him.  As I always am to pretty much everything, I was running late so I was worried he might be gone when I got there.  I didn't want to call him because I wanted it to be a surprise.  I pull in and see that his truck is still there and he's actually sitting in it.  Joy!!  In my mind, I had timed it just right.  I go bounding up to his window.  It wasn't until I jumped on his side rail step bars that I could actually see into the truck - and see her brown hair bobbing up and down on his dick. I went from excited to devastated in a single heartbeat.  I just left.  No drama.  Tree made no effort to get out of his truck to talk w me and I am actually glad that he didn't.  He did text me later that evening saying, "I'm sorry".  And that's how we ended.

I say my downward spiral started around then.  I do not blame Tree for it though.  There other things going on too.  Yes, I was a little hurt and a little angry w him, but nothing that had me sticking pins in a voodoo doll.  If he had needed a blowjob or attention, all he had to do was say something to me.  As for the other woman, I had only seen her face for a moment, but I knew her to be his ex-girlfriend.  And I had long suspected he had never gotten over her.  Later, I heard from someone else that she had only just broken up w her boyfriend and she had also come to see Tree in an out of the blue sort of way (apparently she and I thought alike).  I was more mad at myself at falling for a guy who was still hung up on someone else. 

I actually do a pretty good job of beating myself up for things that happen.  Therapist say . . . well, he says a lot of things about that and over time maybe I will stop doing it so much.   


  1. Sorry to hear that. But you can't blame yourself.

  2. Oh man honey I'm so sorry. That sucks. I think we need to stop blaming ourselves for shit like this and get angry. Angry helps... problem is we fall in love with them and can't get angry at them so we get angry at ourselves instead, but that's self destructive.... it's just a catch 22 isn't it?

    Tons of cyber hugs flying your way xoxoxo

  3. Very sorry it ended that way. Not very nice to find out like that. I hope things get better for you very soon. Take care beautiful lady. I would give you hug if I was close by.

  4. One little correction. YOU CAN BLAME TREE!

    Why? Because he was the one getting the BJ in the front seat of his truck. Do you blame the ex for coming over seeking comfort? Depends on what he told her about you. but, in the end, he's the one who had to say yes to her proposal, or, he's the one who asked for it, either way, it is his fault whether he was "over" her or not.

    OK, it's not for me to tell you how to deal with him (one word hint... 'boom') but I do know it's not your fault. He was free to choose, and, while that makes it even more painful to realize he made that choice, it frees you from blaming yourself. Anyone who buys me a milkshake automatically qualifies as a good girlfriend, and the whole straw/sucking comparison vaults you into the 'amazing girlfriend' category.

    Don't rush the healing process through, it hurts and it sucks (no pun intended) and it's awful and denying that doesn't help either.

    Keep writing, let us know how you are doing, and we'll be here to help.


  5. Sorry to hear about this. At least though this way things didn't linger on, it just ended with a cut and dried reason, no arguing no drama.
    Not much of a bright side, it still stinks.