I am sitting cross-legged in the Boyfriend’s bed, laptop
in my lap, watching the Gator game. The
Boyfriend is sound asleep next to me.
Call it my own little superstition.
I feel like the Gators have more luck when I am doing something more
than just watching the game. Make fun of
me all you want.
The Boyfriend has not been having a good week.
He bought a new car. This may not seem like much, but the
Boyfriend is thrifty (this is me trying to politely say he is cheap). He white knuckles every penny before he will
grudgingly let go of it. He liked his
car and was not looking to let her go.
But the mechanic said he was looking at a lot of repairs in the near
future, convincing him it might actually be cheaper in the long run to go ahead
and spend the money for a new car. It
took a little Rachel-encouragement, but he avoided practical and finally found a
car he really loved. He stopped for a
red light - the car behind him did not.
Less than a month old, his shiny red Charger was a crunched mess.
He has a new Director. And she was apparently trying to run everyone
off who had been brought in by her predecessor.
I never understand why upper management allows these firing-fests to go
on, but we have all seen it happen time and again. The Boyfriend has been living w a bull’s eye
on his chest. The poor guy went to work
every day waiting for the phone call to come to her office. I cannot even begin to imagine what it is
like for him.
His dad has been sick. His uncle (on his mom’s side) has been
sick. A co-worker of his, an older woman
w no children on this side of the continent, had fallen and broken her
leg. He offered to help each of them w
their yard work until they were able to do it again for themselves. And none had a small yard either. The Boyfriend, the man who lives in an
apartment w no yard of his own to take care of, now spends an entire day every
week mowing lawns. He had one Hell of a
tan.
Then he comes down w a cold. I said it was a cold - he insists he is dying
from the plague. Ugh, this is me rolling
my eyes and saying again, “It is just a cold”.
But I will agree w him about one thing – it is killing him. Well, what is actually killing him is that
he keeps pushing himself and is not getting any rest. He felt it dangerous to call out sick given
the politics w his new Director. And
sick or not, the lawns were not going to mow themselves. Whether he simply had a cold or was dying
from the plague, he was trying to power through.
This is where I come in.
When he called me this afternoon,
he was in sad shape.
He was finishing his third lawn,
trying to get them all done so he had nothing to do tomorrow. He had finished his dad and uncle’s lawns and was
apparently trying to power through his co-worker’s lawn. He said he was trying to get her lawn done
when he finally just could not stand up any longer. He sat down right there in her yard to catch
his breath. Then he lay down. Twenty minutes later, he still had not gotten
back up. He called me from his cell
saying he was not sure he could stand back up.
“There’s nothing left in the tank”, he kept saying. I do not think he realized that he was
repeating himself. He was miserable.
I ran to him in no time. I managed to get him into some shade, the
entire time he was apologizing for calling me.
In addition to all the apologies, he kept insisting he would be okay in
just a few minutes, that he would be able to finish mowing, and if I would mind
waiting for him to finish mowing and just help him drive home, then he would
leave me alone. Yeah, I pretty much just
ignored him. Putting him into the shade
(the goof had been sitting in the sun), I wrapped a wet towel around his neck and
gave him a Gatorade. I proceeded to
finish mowing the lawn myself (read my blog to see that I am quite popular for
my mad mowing skills). He was using her
mower, so I simply had to return it to the shed when I was finished. Then came the more challenging task of
getting him into my car and back home (I decided we were going to leave his car
at her place for now). We managed it,
but then I questioned the walk from my car into his apartment. I debated taking him to my home where I had
Daddy for more help if needed. But he
needed a shower and to get into something dry – the poor thing was soaked
through – and that meant a stop at his place anyway. His place was, of course, the exact opposite
direction from my place. And he probably
would feel more comfortable in his cave.
I debated calling Harley for help.
I have no doubt that Harley would have rushed over to help. But then I would need therapy for the rest of
my life. Internal debate settled, I
turned towards the Boyfriend’s apartment.
We got into his apartment, but
that seemed to tap whatever reserves he had found. He insisted on laying down on the living room
carpet saying he just needed a moment. I
knew the Boyfriend and I knew from his tone that a “moment” was going to be
anything but a “moment”. I fought the
useless battle - he was spent. I did
manage to get a beach towel under him thinking that might feel better than the
stiff carpet. And I managed to get him
out of most of his clothing. Yuck is all
I have to say about touching those sweaty things!!! He was not much better. He was covered in dirt and grass. The sweat was still rolling off him. Another plus for the beach towel under
him. Driving him home, we had to put the
windows down because he had complained of freezing from the A/C. I was afraid he might get too cold now that
he was inside and still wet w sweat, so I covered him a little bit w another
towel. I insisted he wake up enough to
drink a little bit more. I was pretty
sure he was dehydrated. He drank a
little bit more because I think he knew it was the only way to get me to shut
up. He lay there, dead to the world.
I sat down on the floor beside
him. After yet another internal debate,
I got a rag and bowl of warm water, then I proceeded to wipe down his face,
arms, back, and legs. I did not know
what I was doing. He looked clammy to
me. I did not want to disturb him
resting. But I also was not sure
anything could disturb him. And again, I
did not like the way he looked. I was still
afraid he might get a chill from being covered in sweat and now in his air
conditioned apartment. If nothing else,
I thought, after I wipe him down a bit he might rest a little better. I guess I did something right. He seemed to enjoy it. I asked him if he wanted me to wipe down his
chest too. He rolled over without saying
a word. I got the hint. I toweled him dry. Then I just continued to sit there beside
him.
I am not really sure how I knew
since his eyes remained closed and he had not really moved any, but I sensed he
had woken up. I was sitting close. He stunk – love is not a perfume – to bad for
me to lie down next to him. I got on my
knees to whisper into his face, “want to try getting that shower now. I still think a warm shower will help you
feel better”.
He grunted okay, but I think he
was just trying to shut me up again. If
he had his way, he would have stayed right there the rest of the weekend. He kind of got to his knees. He was not moving fast. “Rach, I really don’t think I can”, he
finally said.
I helped him to his feet. The two of us managed it to the shower;
slowly. He sat, more like fell, onto the
toilet while I started the shower. He insisted
he would be okay to take a shower when I asked him. He insisted he would be okay, but he also
kept sitting on the toilet; not moving, eyes closed. Another internal debate later, I began
stripping out of my clothes. It should
be a testament to how he was feeling that he did not notice until we were both
literally standing in the shower together.
“I should call you for help more
often”, he teased when he did notice.
“Shut up and give me your back”,
I said in a teasing firm tone back to him.
Done washing his back, I turned
him around and just had him stand there for a bit w the hot water on his
back. Washing his chest, it was hard NOT
to notice something developing.
“Oh my God”, I shouted at him, “I
swear a man can be on his deathbed and will still get a boner”.
“It’s not my fault”, he
protested.
“Like it’s mine”, I joked back.
“Most beautiful girl I have ever
known, naked, in a hot shower, rubbing me . . . yeah, I’d pretty much say it’s
your fault”.
“Besides”, he added, “you’re like
the best thing that’s happened to me all week . . . all month . . . ever”.
“You’re just trying to get into
my pants”, I joked.
“Must be working since . . . um .
. . they’re off”.
He reached his arms around me,
both pulling me closer and pulling my hair so that my face angled up to meet
his. We kissed.
I do not deny it – I love the
Boyfriend.
And I love Harley.
The Boyfriend loves me too. God, I wish so many times that was enough to
make me happy. But apparently it isn’t
because being w the Boyfriend does not make me happy. Harley loves me . . . I think . . . maybe it
isn’t love . . . because he runs away.
But being w Harley makes me happy . . . until he runs away. And the Boyfriend has his own way of running
away too; we have gone months w/o his touching me. I don’t know.
It is all so confusing to me. It
is partially why I started writing this blog years ago, to kind of try to think
about it out loud so to speak, and here I am still trying to figure it out.
None of those thoughts were in
the front of my brain just then.
What was foremost in my thoughts
at that precise moment was the Boyfriend’s hard-on which was pressing into my
mid-section while we kissed. I had not
gotten into the shower w him w the intention of making love. I had spent the past several hours worried to
death about him. I was truly concerned about
him and my being in the shower as well seemed like the safest way to make sure
he did not fall and kill himself.
“I suppose you’re hoping I will
help take care of that for you”, I asked him.
“I wasn’t sure you’d be
interested”, he said. He did not say it
in whiney mode. It was more like a statement
of fact. He understood why I had gotten
into the shower w him. It had been a
while since we had been together sexually.
Normally, I prefer a strong confident man. Strangely, I appreciated his understanding in
this case and in an even more bizarre way it made me all the more wanting to
sleep w him.
“Well, I am naked in your shower
w you . . . that’s pretty much universal girl code for you’re gonna get lucky”,
I joked w him.
“Tell me what you would like me
to do”, I continued, taking his erection into my hands. It may only be a Rachel thing, but I like
hearing the Boyfriend tell me what dirty thing he wants me to do for him. The dirtier his instructions, the
better. This is another place the
Boyfriend has a problem though – it is hard for him to open up w me. Imagine it – I am naked, holding his dick in
my hand, essentially offering to do whatever he tells me. How much more of a ‘sure thing’ can it be? And yet, w all that, he is still too nervous
to tell me to bend over like the slut I am for him to fuck. Except this time apparently . . .
“I want to see my dick in your
mouth”, he said. I was shocked to say
the least. I knew him so I also heard the
nervousness in his voice. But still . .
. he did it. How could I not reward him
for it.
“I can do that for you”, I said
in my most submissive tone, lowering myself onto my knees. His back blocked the spray from my face,
making it possible for me to give him a good show of his dick filling my
mouth.