Paradox

The more interesting stuff I have to actually write about, the less time I have to actually write about it.

My First Topless Photo

I have been hesistant to post a topless photo. I had a good day today and thought "why the Hell not!" Harley took these pictures a long time ago; before enhancements and before I went blonde. I hope that does not matter to anyone. :)

So, here I am standing in just my bra and panties. And . . .

. . . here I am in just my panties. You will see the bra draped over the chair. Sorry guys. Maybe someday. :)

Don't hate me.

Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video

A friend told me about this video and I am still laughing. I do not think I am the only one who finds it as funny as all get out, but maybe I am weird. I will hope everyone enjoys it as much as I did. Also it probably tells you how bizarre my sense of humor can be.

21 Questions . . . I Finally Get To Them!

I wanted to do something different this morning. I read these question on D. Scandal, have since seen them on other sites, and wanted to give it go when I had some time. I have some time. :)

1. Have you ever fantasized about someone of the same sex?

Not sure why this is embarrassing to admit; yes, I have wondered. Never a particular person in mind, just in general.

2. How do you feel about condoms?

To paraphrase someone else - a "necessary" evil. Necessary was their word, evil is mine. Sex is meant to be messy.

3. How important is sex to you on a scale of 1 to 100?

Hello . . . I am writing a sex blog . . . 100 plus.

4. How often do you masturbate?

Depends. At most, once or twice a week.

5. When you fake an orgasm could you win an Oscar?

I will admit it, I have faked on a few occasions. I think "faked" might be an overly harsh word though. Why does it sound so bad to be concerned about how your Lover is feeling? I can be hard to "O". But if I have a Lover who is especially sensitive or I think their concern about my pleasure is getting in their/our, then I have upon occasion put a little extra emphasis into expressing the pleasure I am feeling. If they take that to mean that I am having an orgasm, well, its not entirely my fault they misunderstood and I saw no reason to explain. :) I hope that makes me sound less bad.

7. Have you ever had a one night stand?

Yes

8. How do you feel about phone sex?

Not any good at it. I have given a few drunk calls though (long time ago) - and you already know what I have drunk texted.

9. Do you look at porn on the Internet?

I have.

10. Would you pose naked in a magazine for 10,000 buck aroos!

No.

11. Have you ever tried Tantric Sex?

I do not even know what that is, so I guess no.

12. Are you a sex initiator?

I would rather not be but I would probably only have sex with the Boyfriend once a year if I wasn't.

13. Are you addicted to Sex?

Not sex, no. I like the intimacy, the desire, the passion, the feeling of being connected to someone, being wanted.

14. Sexiest part of a woman's body?

My mind.

15. Are you into bondage?

Not sure I can say "into", but the few experiences I have had were extremely pleasurable. I know this will sound like a non-answer, but I think I will say that if my Lover is "into" it, then I am "into" it. Having said that, I will add that I do like being restrained by my Lover physically during sex; holding my wrists, putting my legs over my head, things like that.

16. Do you like to be tied up or be the tie-er upper?

I do not ever see me wanting to tie someone up or to be with someone who wanted to be tied up.

17. Longest sex session?

I wrote about a recent episode with the Boyfriend. My lady bits starting aching again whenever I think about his stamina that day. I think it was 90 minutes to 2 hours; felt like forever.

Now I have, on a few occasions, spent an entire day in bed too. More than once (though I always tell my Lover it was my first time).

18. naughty or nice?

Isn't it obvious? And would you really want me any other way?

19. Do you like to be spanked?

I used to think I was weird because I wanted my Lover to spank me during sex. It was not something I had ever heard other women admit; then I read it all over the place in blogs. Maybe it is just something we do not say publicly, but want privately? I do not know. I like it. Done right, that is.

20. Did you ever have sex in your parents bedroom?

Yes. A story for another time maybe.

and lastly...

21. How many toys do you own?

I read others as having ten . . . eleven . . . I have just the one.

I think everything I wrote here was already pretty well known, but I kind of enjoyed this. And I may regret this, but I would like to do more. If some would like to email me a question or two (do not be crude please), when there are enough I might try to put together another set. My thinking is that also tells me more about what you want to hear about (like I do not already know).

Mission Accomplished

I rolled over like I do any Saturday morning where I want to sleep to sleep in and just lay there watching it get brighter and brighter. The Boyfriend snores. He snores nothing like my Dad who made the walls shake. No, the Boyfriend's snoring is more like a soft white noise. It drowns everything else out, but is not loud enough itself to be annoying. It did not matter, I was wide awake.

I thought about what I had written last night and decided to take things into my own hands. Literally. I slipped a hand beneath my panties and worked towards getting myself ready. You can use your own imagination as to what I dreamed about. : ) Very wet and very ready, I took getting the Boyfriend ready into my own hands. As fate would have it, he was mostly on his back and not really under the blanket. He tends to get hot easy, so is often uncovered by morning. Trying to disturb him as little as possible, I eased him through the opening in his boxers and into my lips. The snoring stopped, so I could tell he was awake. He should have pretended he was still asleep. : ) I like it when I feel my lover getting hard in my mouth. Not really sure why. I have read others write the same thing. I guess its just a girl thing.

I had not really thought about what I was going to do next. The Boyfriend seemed content to let me run the show this morning. I decided it was a Rachel on top morning. On top is the best position for me to hit all those just right spots. I took it slow. Mostly, I just sat astride him, him buried deep inside of me, while I gently grided against him, not really even sliding him in and out of me. I kept this up until we were both close. Then I leaned over and began to seriously ride.

And then I made breakfast! I am not sure which surprised the Boyfriend more. Getting laid first thing or me making breakfast.

Daylight Savings Time?

It has been Halloween since the Boyfriend has expressed any interest in me physically. In hindsight, I suppose I could have tried a little hard my own self to encourage him. To continue being candid though, I think I was okay with it. And I am not sure it is just me either. Wide Load has been less aggressive also; not as un-interested as the Boyfriend, but still less than his usual self. Why? Well, it could be that we all caught some rare sex-killing virus. But I think it is the damned time change. Am I the only one who hates it. It is nice that the sun is kind of sort of up when I am driving into the office for the day. It is depressing as hell that the sun is going down when I am finally driving home . . . well, to the gym. It feels so late. I do not have the energy to work out. The only thing that has changed is the time. What gives. I should be the same, but instead I just want to get a shower and go to bed for the night (not to get laid, so get your minds out of the gutter guys). I notice the crowd has thinned in the gym too. Wide Load says this is normal this time of year anyway. Why do we still change the clocks. And please will they either remove that feature on the electronic devices which automatically adjust your clocks for Daylight Savings Time or will the government get back to when it was supposed to be? Why did it get changed off its normal schedule anyway. It is bad enough that we have it, but to have it all screwed up just adds salt to the wounds. Okay, I did warn you that I can get bitchy.

Maybe I will wake the Boyfriend up with something special tomorrow?

Harley Sex - If You Read It All

The incurable romantic in me believes there is one true love for each of us – that one person who is so exactly perfect for you and fully completes you. Harley was mine. It hurts more than I can describe that his one true love was someone else entirely.

I was thinking about him again today. I can not say why or what started it. I can just say that I was. I used to have a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings. I kept rolling over and over, putting off getting up until the very last moment, then rushing to get out of the door. I fell into the habit of thinking about Harley on those mornings. Not for the joy it brought, but because I began to hurt so bad that the last thing I wanted to do was lay in bed and think more about him. Yes, I know, do not even bother to tell me – that is pretty whacked. I would like to say that I got myself away from the bad habit, but truth is that I was still doing it until fairly recently. I just kind of stopped and was not all that aware I had. I think credit goes to a variety of sources. Partial credit occasionally goes to the Boyfriend. The dear boy can only get partial credit because I have been with him and while and I have been doing this a long time still. Wide Load gets some credit because, well, because he is Wide Load. :) He makes me smile. I find that I think about Harley less and less these days. Credit goes to blogging too, I think, because this is where I try – not always successfully – to say things that I do not say anywhere else. I do not know that I will ever be able to write about Harley from start to finish (it even hurts to use the word "finish" when talking about him), but I have been able to mention him from time to time here and it is not like I have anywhere else I get to talk about him.

What was it about Harley? I could say it was because he was the most incredible man I have ever met. But truth is, it was how he made me feel. He was my personal pep rally. He pumped me up and made me believe things about myself that I never thought before him. He was pain killers, anti-depressants, mood elevators, and tequila all in one shot. 24/7. And yes, he was viagra too.

I know this is a sex blog, so you guys do not really want to hear me go on and on about Harley – you want to hear the good stuff.

Harley was into 'ambush sex'. He would probably take offense at that, saying that he was being spontaneous. I call it – smiling – 'ambush sex'. He might be walking through the a room that I was standing in, he would give me a kiss, and he might just pick me up to carry me into the bedroom. Before anyone calls this controlling and abusive, let me stop you there. It was not. It was Harley and it was fun. If Harley had a flaw, it was his incredible sense of responsibility and always being productive. I think he approached fun (not just sex), the way he approached everything – fast and hard. When he relaxed enough to think about having fun, he wanted – he needed – it then. It never felt controlling or abusive with Harley. He made me feel needed and desired.

I think one of my favorites was when he was mowing the back yard. I brought him out a glass of cold water. I take responsibility for what happened because I kind of knew what to expect. I went out barefoot wearing just a pair of tight jean shorts and a bikini top. I expected him to drag me back to the bedroom . . . or at least the garage. Instead, he thanked me. He seemed really surprised that I had done that for him and was extremely appreciative. We stood there and just talked about nothing for a bit. He pulled me close for a kiss apologizing for his being sweaty. I said that I didn't mind and that was apparently all the permission he needed. I thought I was just talking about sweat! He began kissing me. I asked what he was up too, laughing, as he spun me around right there in the back yard!!!! Thank God he had a privacy fence. I tried to protest, but I guess my laughter took much of the heat out if it. He had my pants off and me bent over in no time. It is kind of hard to look graceful when you are bent over, half naked, hands on the ground for balance. Thinking about it, Harley made being submissive for him fun. He made me feel more like a woman than I can describe. I remember the look of his legs standing behind me – I could clearly see them the way I was bent over – and how they flexed each time he thrust into me. I loved it. I loved making him need me that way. I loved giving myself to him there. I pretended to protest the entire time that he fucked me in the back yard; all the time loving every thrust. When he finally came and released me, he did not give me back my jeans shorts. He kept them saying he would come look me up after he was done mowing the yard. I walked back to the house, swinging my hips, naked from my bikini top down . . . and I stayed that way until he came inside to finish what he started.

Sex as a visual?

I have heard from more than one man that sex is very visual to them. I have always understood that and have played with it on more than one occasion. Re-reading my last post, I think it became even more apparent to me. I am giving Wide Load his blow job and I can see us in the mirror. I can get so wrapped up into what I am doing – how does he feel, is he enjoying it, am I doing it right – that I forget this simple thing. Sex is visual.

It may not be true to all men and I am not suggesting that it is. It is clearly true with Wide Load. Harley also. I would say it has been true for every Lover of mine. And, while the Boyfriend has never said, I am guessing that it is probably true for him as well given his reactions at times to different outfits like the witches costume on Halloween.

Sex for me is all about the feeling. What I want to feel changes which kind of sucks for my guys who want to know how to please me. But, on the whole, I like feeling submissive or, at the very least, that my Lover is dominant. Watching Wide Load and me in the mirror, I thought I looked so submissive on my knees for him, that he looked so powerful (which he is), and that I looked sexy for him. I think I enjoyed giving that blowjob more than any I have ever done.

Halloween Sex

I detest being cold. Give me sweat any time. All summer (Florida only has two seasons, summer and winter), I listen to people bitch about how hot it is. I love it. The hotter the better, I say. Right now, it is 51 degrees outside. I am in HELL. I am so cold and that is with the heater jacked up and me wearing layers of clothing.

Fortunately, Halloween was a lot warmer.

I had planned a fairly sedate Halloween. I was going to walk along with a girlfriend of mine while she took her two kids "trick or treating". I had not been since I was a kid and was looking forward to it. I was not planning on dressing up, but at the last minute her kids really wanted her to dress up too. She did not want to do it alone and called to beg me to dress up too; I guess thinking that she'd look less foolish if I was looking foolish right there beside her. She decided to go as GI Jane (her husband is on deployment in Afghanistan). It was hard to be creative at the last minute. I put on a short black dress, black nylons, heels, and borrowed a black hat from the neighors kids to go as a witch.

The Boyfriend seemed to like it. He asked, "are you a good witch or a bad witch". I responded with "I am a naughty witch". That was essentially the end of his come on, but I knew him well enough to know he was hoping to get laid later with me still in constume.

I am headed over to my girlfriends when, not really thinking, I call Wide Load on an impulse. It was not that unusual. I typically call him whenever I have a few minutes. I was not surprised that he was at the gym. When he learned I was in costume, he would not stop until I agreed to stop and show him. I had thought to stay outside, but he was having none of it and all but carried me inside. Inside, he did carry me and lifted me onto the counter for him to kiss while he stood between my spread legs. (Oh, in case you are wondering, the gym was closed, we were not performing in front of others, no one was there – Wide Load apparently gets a key to any gym he has ever belonged too). Standing between my legs, I could feel what he wanted. To be honest, I wanted it too. But I also knew what the Boyfriend was expecting later as well. Yes, I have fucked two guys in the same day and gotten away with it. But, I did not feel like pushing my luck. I could see the Boyfriend pulling off my panties and askng what this big load of cum was doing there. Wide Load was not one to push the issue. But I did not like the thought of leaving him like that either. I got off the counter and got down onto my knees for him. He knew what I was offering and he did not hesitate to lower his pants for me to suck his dick. One thing about gyms is that they have mirrors everywhere. Out of the corner of my eye, I could just see myself, in full witches gear, on my knees with Wide Load standing in front of me and his dick in my mouth. It was kind of sexy looking, I thought.

Mission accomplished, I rushed off to go "trick or treating". It was a blast and her kids were a delight. She lived in a fantastic "trick or treating" neighborhood. GI Jane and I were also a big hit everywhere.

I returned home to the Boyfriend. Some time had passed so I was not sure he would still be in the mood. It is like that with him. I guess though he really liked the costume (and please note it was entirely G rated, okay), because he asked if it was his turn for "trick or treating" when I walked in.