Whenever I'm listening to the radio in the car, I'm not always sure I've heard what I think I've heard. This is especially true in the mornings when I'm driving to work, putting on my make-up, brushing my hair, adjusting the girls in my bra, listening to voicemails, texting, thinking about where I might like to go for lunch that day - basically all the things I should not be doing while driving. A few weeks ago, when the news broke about different celebs having their phones hacked, I thought I heard the DJ say that a study found that about a third of the women polled said there were revealing pictures of them on the internet and that most just considered sending naked pictures of themselves a normal part of relationships now.
When I thought I might post my thoughts about all of this, I ran into a big problem. My thoughts are a big mess.
I guess, to begin with, I'm among that group of women who considers sending naughty pictures of myself to my lover to be fun. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a single picture I've regretted. As long as no one is being coerced into something they don't want to do, then I think we should just have fun w it. I did. Sadly, there is always someone out there who has to ruin it. In my case, mostly, it was my ex-husband. I really don't want to talk about him here; he is just a sad excuse for a man. After our divorce, pictures that I took for him or that we made together were on the internet for all to see (he never admitted doing it). Now, I guess I am embarrassed by those photos. But not because I'm naked or what they show me doing. I'm embarrassed, if that's any the right word, because he took something that was meant to be special between us and tried to make it hurtful.
The only ones it really hurt were the men I dated afterwards because I was more on guard about every little thing. It was a male co-worker who unintentionally helped me get better one day. He asked if I would go to lunch w him one day. Not a couples date or anything like that. He simply wanted to go to a specific place for lunch. Obviously, I was going to ask him why - which I did once we were at lunch. He told me that this place had been one of his favorite places to go for lunch. In due time, he was in a serious relationship and he often met his girlfriend there for lunch. Then, one day, at that very place, he said she dumped him. (I'm thinking quietly to myself - what a bitch to dump a man at his favorite place. But how some women can be hateful is a topic for another day). He said he avoided the place for months after that - "but I need to re-claim it, I need to make it my place again". I was honored that he asked me to join him on his maiden voyage back to his "place". And it got me to thinking - what all had I given up or stopped doing because someone hurt me? I went to lunch to support a friend, but I think he unknowingly supported me more. Slowly, I began to re-claim the fun things I enjoyed in dating and relationships.
The Boyfriend, as non-sexual as is, has always appreciated any picture I have ever sent him. And I always enjoyed doing it. It was sad that some jerk ruined that for me for so long. That's what I thought of the celeb's who had their phones hacked. I'm guessing they had fun sexting their lover. And now some jerk was ruining that for them.