Dinner and a Blowjob

I went to the Boyfriend's for dinner tonight.  Nothing happened.

 

Hmm, I should probably explain a few things first. I have already said, albeit briefly, that the Boyfriend and I do not live together now. What happened? During the Boyfriend's much belated birthday trip, which I had started posting about before I pulled a disappearing act, we got engaged. I promise to return to "The Boyfriend's Birthday Presents" saga to explain it all. It was nice being engaged. Mom liked the Boyfriend. To be honest, it seems like marrying the Boyfriend was one of the very few things in my life about which she never said a negative word. She was enjoying planning the wedding with me even. Looking back, it was maybe our closest mother-daughter experience. She called every day with some new idea she wanted to run past me for the wedding. It was fun planning with her. The day we buried her was supposed to be the day she and I went looking at wedding dresses. Planning for the wedding just stopped for me.  I became increasingly despondent. In time, it reached the point where I just struggled to get through each day. I had no energy.  I looked forward to going back to bed to hide from the world. It was sometime long after this I moved out of the Boyfriends and back in with Daddy. I told both of them I just needed some space for now. The wedding is cancelled, though I am not sure if we are still engaged or not. It's all very confusing. I made love to him the night I moved out. I go over for dinner two to three times a week. And we still sleep together. If I thought our relationship was confusing before, it is even more confusing now. 

 

 

It feels like nothing ever does happen unless I initiate. I say that and then the Boyfriend surprises me. The morning I all but raped the Boyfriend, I went back over that night for dinner. It was pleasant. It was also awkward. I think awkward because the Boyfriend so seldom initiates that he is really not very good at it. It could also be that he does not initiate more because he is so bad at it. He even looks uncomfortable. And realize that he is this bad with me - a guaranteed "yes" for him. It had been a long day. I was looking forward to just going home. And the Boyfriend was awkwardly uncomfortably struggling to initiate.

 

I thought about pretending not to notice his horribly thrown passes. But I felt bad about doing that too. The Boyfriend deserves a better girlfriend. He took the dishes from the table to the kitchen. Yes ladies, he does the cooking and he cleans up afterwards!!! In the kitchen, he tried to keep the conversation light and flirty. It was not that I was unwilling to have sex with him. It was that I did not want to be there late. Certainly if I still lived there, then I would have gladly laid back on the bed naked and waited for him. Staying there late was not what I wanted. I followed him into the kitchen. He did not catch the hint to kiss me, so I pulled his arms around me instead. I teased how sexy he looked in the kitchen. We kissed a bit more. I suspected he was starting to think about how to move things into the bedroom. (This is the part I feel bad about). When he started to walk, while still hugging me, towards the bedroom, I stopped him. I teased again that I wanted to repay him for dinner and being the best Boyfriend ever. I could see his confusion since we were not walking towards the bedroom. Kissing him again, keeping my eyes locked onto his, I lowered myself to my knees. I think he was getting the idea of what to expect. He actually started to protest. He wanted me to feel good too. How sweet! I smiled telling him that I did feel good taking care of him and that this is exactly what I wanted. At that point, I took his freed dick into my hand and guided him into my mouth. This was not intended to be a slow gentle blowjob. I begin bobbing and sucking hard immediately. When he was rock hard in my mouth, I took his hands and placed them onto my head, then guided his hips to start thrusting into my mouth. The way he gripped my hair and head, I could not really see his face any longer. I had no intention of stopping him, so I went with it. I could hear him and he definitely seemed to be enjoying himself. I have noticed that sometimes humming just a little bit drives some men crazy when I am blowing them. The Boyfriend certainly appreciated the humming. Sometimes he would just thrust deep between my lips, then hold me there tight. I think he was trying to catch his breath more than anything else.  With a little encouragement from me, he would resume face fucking me. I did need to see his face at least once more and stopped him long enough for me to connect my eyes with his. I kept his dick in my mouth the entire time. I tried to smile with him still between my lips. I think he noticed. He looked so very happy.  I resumed bobbing and soon he resumed thrusting. Before too long, I was rewarded with a salty taste of pre-cum. Time to get even more ferocious with the face fuck. I could tell my his noises that I should be expecting a mouthful soon. I was not surprised when the first of several bursts exploded into my mouth. I swallowed quickly to avoid drops on my blouse. When he was done cumming, he held my head still tight with him deep inside of my smile. And I was smiling too. I let him hold me there for a bit while I cleaned him with my tongue. When he let go of my head, I kept him deep in my mouth just a bit longer to let him know I enjoyed this.  We kissed then and I went home.

I genuinely enjoyed making the Boyfriend feel good. I do care about him even if he does drive me crazy most days and even if I do not want to live with him right now.  But I have wondered some if giving him a blowjob was the right thing to do. I don't know.  I think sometimes I think too much.